


Finding Your Voice

by marinstan



Series: Choices [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Case Fic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Pansy Parkinson is a Good Friend, Past Sexual Abuse, Smut (is it mild? I guess??? Someone tell me please), Top Harry Potter, she is also pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22385509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marinstan/pseuds/marinstan
Summary: Love is a mystery - to Draco and Harry more than to anyone else. As Gryffindor and Slytherin are figuring out how to deal with past trauma, Draco is haunted by old ghosts - meaning, Derek Connor is on the loose again and determined to get Draco back. And this time, he's not working alone.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Choices [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603606
Comments: 17
Kudos: 122





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!  
> This is Part Two of Choices and it picks up shortly after Taking a Stand ends. I would recommend you read the First Part before you dive into this story. Even though the plot isn't based on TaS, I think it might be confusing to read this without knowing the backstories of the characters.  
> The main pairing is definitely Drarry and my two favorite boys will get the most attention, but there is also a secondary pairing that I hope you'll adore as much as I do.  
> Well then, let's get into it, shall we?

In a moment of utter terror, the world slows down. Narrows.

Around Harry, curses are thrown and people are screaming, the cold winds ever present around Azkaban ripping on his clothes.

And yet, he only sees Zabini, hurled in the air by the curse Harry had casted, the curse that had been meant for the man next to Zabini, who is now laughing at Harry.

A Cushioning Charm passes Harry, preventing Zabini from breaking his neck as his body hits the ground, limp and lifeless. Draco dashes after his own charm, toward Zabini, his blond hair a patch of light in between all the gray.

Harry, knees trembling, makes a decision.

„Retreat! Everyone, retreat!“ He sends some red sparks flying, before looking at Draco. The Slytherin has an arm slung around Zabini's body. Their eyes lock for a moment, Harry nods and with a pop, Draco disapparates.

Before Harry follows, he throws another look around – just in time to watch Sam and Terry spin into darkness, Sam's hair like a raven's wing in the storm.

Only one missing.

„Ron!“

Ron Weasley is dueling two wizwards at once, his wand whipping through the air, firey hair wet with sweat.

Harry sprints toward him and catches one of the wizards by surprise, stunning him. The other sends a dirty look Harry's way, before grabbing his companion's arm and vanishing.

„Let's go,“ Harry shouts into Ron's ear and before the fuming ginger can protest, Harry is pulling them into the airfree darkness of apparation.

St. Mungo's is already wide awake when Harry and Ron arrive, both panting, adrenalin still pumping through their bodies.

Harry catches a glimpse of Sam and Terry only a few metres away, talking to healers. Terry seems a little wobbly, but both are standing on their own feet.

„Where's Zabini?“ Harry asks the healer approaching them.

„They won't let me in,“ Draco says, pale face now almost translucent, his expressive eyes wide. He's waiting in front of a closed door, the door to Zabini's room.

„Did they say anything? Will he be alright?“

Harry's heart is pounding in his chest painfully and he's just staring at Draco, infinitly grateful that he's alive and well.

„Yes. He will be okay.“

Harry exhales. „Thank Merlin.“

He wishes he could go over, wrap his arms around Draco and bury his head in that silver hair. But Draco doesn't want the public to know about their relationship, so he can't do that. In moments like this one, it breaks Harry's heart.

„What about the others?“ the Slytherin asks.

„They should be okay.“

Ron rubs his face. It's smeared with dirt and sweat. A rather ugly cut adorns his left cheek.

„A bloody mass-breakout.“

Harry just nods and Draco's face shutters, his eyes dark.

„This is a disaster,“ he says and Harry can just silently nod.

When they've all been floo-called out of their beds in the pit of night, none of them had been prepared. Harry, who had slept at Ron's, since Hermoine had been on a business trip Draco apparently wasn't invited to, had insisted to come along and, really, Harry is glad he did. None of them had had any idea what they'd walked into.

The first time the idea had been introduced to slowly replace the dementors guarding Azkaban for schooled wizards, Harry had been all for it, even supporting it publicly.

But, apparently, they just weren't there yet. They'd done it too quickly, too carelessly. Because now, more than a dozen criminals are on free foot again and it's partly their fault.

A healer exits the room.

„He is stable. I'm optimistic that he'll be able to leave during the day, but for now, he's sleeping. You can visit him, if you like, just be quiet,“ he tells them.

Draco is the first one in the room, Harry close on his heels.

His throat constricts as he sees Zabini in the white hospital bed. This is Harry's fault. It was his curse that sent Zabini here.

„Don't blame yourself,“ Draco says quietly.

Harry can't look at him. Shame is washing over him.

„How can I not? It was my curse.“

Lightly, Draco brushes the back of his hand against Harry's. Now the Gryffindor does look at him, even though guilt is still burning in his stomach.

„You didn't mean to hit him. No one blames you.“

„Is everyone okay?“

Sam comes in, carefully, voice low so she won't disturb Zabini's sleep.

The Slytherin looks a little dishevelled, her long hair tousled and her face bare of makeup.

„Yes. What about Terry?“ Harry asks her.

„He's alright. Just some lingering stunner that slipped through his Protego. The healers are giving him some pepper-up, I think.“

Harry nods. At least they all made it out alive.

The sharp clicking of heels on the floor announces the arrival of Pansy Parkinson. It amazes Harry that she, at four in the morning on a Tuesday, looks ready for a photo shoot. Why in hell is she wearing makeup?

„I've heard,“ she says, everyone looking at her in mild surprise. „I come in early on Tuesdays to work in the lab. Some plants I need are only blooming in the early morning hours. How's Blaise?“

All of that is fired in such rapid speed that Harry has trouble keeping up.

„He'll be alright,“ Draco says, gently. He's probably sensing an unease in Parkinson that Harry can't see.

Pansy nods, looking at Blaise and taking a deep breath. Draco puts a tentative hand on her back and Pansy leans into it, smoothing one hand over Draco's hair, then pressing her forehead against his shoulder for a moment.

Pansy straightens her back again and lets go of Draco, looking at Sam now.

„Please tell me you made those wankers pay.“

Sam shakes her head, expression dark.

„Not really, I'm afraid. After Blaise was hit, it was over. Terry was hardly able to stand and I had to get him out of there and... we let them escape.“

„Fuck,“ Pansy says, the curse coming from the heart and Harry can only silently agree. What a huge fuck-up.

He looks at Draco, who avoids his gaze.

Pansy is looking at him now as well, taking his hand again. Harry tries not to be jealous that she can.

„Draco, love,“ she says, her voice full of sympathy.

Draco gives her a sharp look, but Harry can see right through him.

If one of them is allowed to feel bad about this outbreak, it's Draco.

Harry's curse that hit Zabini had been meant for someone else, someone who, of course, managed to dodge it, laughing as he was spinning into the darkness with another wizard.

Someone named Derek Connor.

Pansy tries not to let her worry show too much. Nothing unsettles Draco more than when Pansy is worried about him. It makes him defensive, she knows. But the look on his face is worrying. Derek sodding Connor is running free again and Pansy has a bad feeling that he won't just take his freedom, pack his things and move to Australia to get away from them.

Afterall, Derek had always meant trouble and if there is one thing he doesn't seem capable of, it is letting go of Draco.

Potter is clenching and unclenching his fists, looking at Draco and obviously dying to go hug him, comfort him. But Draco won't let him.

It exasperates Pansy, but she's been through worse with Draco. Way worse.

„I should go home,“ the Weasel says, looking at his phone. „Hermoine heard and she wants to floo me.“

Pansy hates to admit it, but the Weasel actually grew up quite nicely. He's still tall, but not as lanky anymore. A slight slouch to his shoulders has remained, but he carries himself with confidence and his biceps really are worth a glance or two.

„I'll see you at the Ministry,“ Potter says and the two guys hug.

Weasel nods at the rest of them, then leaves the room with long steps.

Pansy crosses her arms and looks at Sam. She seems quite a bit shaken by the events and Pansy can't blame her. Out of an impulse, she puts her hand on the girl's forearm and squeezes lightly.

Sam looks at her with a faint smile.

Pansy isn't sure if they could already be called friends, after only knowing each other for a month, but sometimes, it's scary how alike they are. It almost feels like Pansy can read the other girl's thoughts at times.

„I have to get back to the Ministry,“ Pansy says.

Draco gives her a small nod.

„Take care,“ she tells him and he smiles at her, fondly. Sometimes, it's easy for Pansy to recall why she used to crush on him a little in Hogwarts, even though she always suspected that she doesn't have quite the right equipment to woo the blond.

Still, she loves Draco as much as she loves Blaise, even when she was dating him. If Pansy is really honest, the blond git might even be her secret favorite. It scares her at times that she is quite sure she'd die for Draco if she had to. It's not very Slytherin of her and she knows that, especially as a woman and as a Slytherin after the war, self-preservation is key. Which is why Draco is, and will remain, the only exception to the rule.

„I'll see you soon,“ Sam tells her and they smile at each other. They always do. Pansy kisses her cheek and leaves the room, wondering how the hell she is supposed to be concentrating on brewing sleeping draught now.

„Are you okay?“ Harry asks when he can't take it anymore.

Draco hasn't said a word since they left the hospital together and Harry is worried. He can only imagine what must be going on in Draco's head right now.

„Yes.“

„Come to mine,“ Harry says, impulsively. „Drink something. Calm down a little.“

To his delight, Draco complies. They've been dating for a month now, yet Harry feels like Draco wants to keep him at arm's length.

In the quiet kitchen of Grimmauld, the rush of the tab is loud as Harry turns it on, feeling Draco's presence even though the blond doesn't make any noise. Harry hands Draco a glass of water.

„We'll catch him soon. He won't get away,“ Harry says, putting as much conviction as he can muster in his voice.

Draco nods, not looking at Harry. His hair threatens to fall into his face again.

„Hey,“ Harry says, his heart breaking a little. It always does around Draco. Harry didn't know that being in love means you're more or less constantly hurting. It's weird, really, how readily he accepts it.

„Come here.“

Draco looks at him, eyes silver in the light. Harry opens his arms and Draco sets his glass down, letting himself be pulled against Harry's chest. His arms snake around Harry's body as he rests his head against the brunet's chest.

Harry hums and breathes in Draco's scent. He isn't quite ready yet to admit that it smells like home.

„You don't have to be afraid,“ he whispers and that draws a chuckle from Draco.

„You know that I am.“

„But I'll protect you.“ Harry is tracing circles on Draco's back.

„I'm a better wizard than Derek is,“ Draco says, quietly. „You don't need to protect me.“

„I know. And still, I will. Always.“

Draco sighs shakily and presses a little closer.

Harry drops a kiss into his hair, letting his lips linger, his hands running down Draco's back. He loves the curve of it and how perfectly Draco fits in his arms.

Draco draws back just a little and lifts his head, tilting his chin up. His eyes are shining and his lips slightly parted. Harry has come to know this expression as Draco's _I-want-to-be-kissed_ face and it's hands down his favorite sight in the world.

Harry smiles, then leans down, locking their lips. They kiss softly, sweetly. It took a while for Harry to teach Draco that. There had been lazy afternoons with movies and popcorn on Harry's couch when he'd kiss Draco and Draco's mouth didn't match Harry's slow pace. Harry had taken the blond's face into his hands.

„No,“ he'd said and Draco had blinked at him, confused and a little embarrassed.

„Like this.“

And he'd shown Draco how to kiss slow.

Until then, Harry had hardly ever minded the fast pace Draco seemed to like best, but after that, he's fallen a little more in love with this idiotic Slytherin, who is just _so_ good at sweet kisses, it turns out.

Between endless kisses and caressing hands, Draco had asked, face so close that Harry could count his lashes: „Why kiss like this?“

Harry hadn't been offended because he already knew that Draco loved it.

„Because I like kissing you.“

Draco had seemed sceptical, so Harry had leaned forward and kissed the frown from his face.

„You're like a teenager, Potter,“ Draco had told him and Harry had rolled his eyes, laughed.

„For you? Always.“

When Harry pulls back now, Draco's face is more open and relaxed. He rests his forehead against the blond's.

„Harry?“

„Yeah?“

„Can I sleep here tonight? I just... don't want to be alone.“

Harry looks into Draco's eyes and sees that vulnerability that Draco lets him see so rarely and there it is again, his heart breaking a little.

„Of course. Do you want to sleep in my guest room, or...?“

Draco just gives him an incredulous look.

„I'm sleeping in your bed.“

The first few moments of waking up are often Draco's favorite part of the day. It's that state of total relaxation when you don't know yet what day it is, what time or what happened and all the things on your To-do-list that demand your attention.

Today, the disorientation is more intense than usually. The bed Draco's sleeping in is soft and plush, but smells very faintly of dust.

There is a warm body curled around his back and Draco holds his breath. The jolt of panic is quickly replaced whith a giddy, warm feeling swirling through him, warming him from inside out and making him flush.

Harry sighs, still asleep, and pulls Draco's body closer. Draco has trouble breathing and laughs at himself for that. It's ridiculous, the way Harry gets to him. A big hand is trailing down Draco's side, resting on his hip and Draco's breath catches.

He's still a little amazed by this heat, this sweet pain curling low in his belly that Potter seems to awaken so easily.

Draco shifts and Harry's breathing changes. He nuzzles Draco's neck. Harry always does this – smelling his hair. Draco used to find it weird, but now... he really likes it.

Kisses are pressed to his neck and Draco feels himself smiling,

„Hi,“ Harry murmurs in his ear and Draco laughs.

Just to be safe, he turns in Harry's arm. This way, he can smile at him and he won't be freaking out for no reason.

Harry's face is surprisingly close to Draco's and he kisses him as soon as Draco smiles up at him. They both don't taste very good this shortly after waking up, but Draco finds he doesn't really care. Harry leans back, pulling Draco with him so that Draco's sprawled over him. He's running his hands over Draco's back and Draco thinks he could get used to this. Oh, he defnitely could.

Harry kisses his neck and Draco tilts his head to the side to give him better access. It's something Derek liked to do as well, but Draco pushes the thought away. Harry does it better and it really isn't important anyway.

When Harry flips them arond, Draco yelps. He's still not quite used to how strong the Gryffindor is, but he knows now that not many things are a turn-on like Harry manhandling him is.

„Do you think they can wait a little longer for us?“ Harry asks, already kissing his way down Draco's chest.

It takes Draco a moment to realize that Harry is talking about work.

„I'm sure they'll understand we need our time to recover from the – ah – horrid events... yesterday.“

It's hard to form words when Harry is dragging his mouth down Draco's belly, his hands stroking his thighs.

„They definitely will.“

After being blown by Harry bloody Potter, Draco needs a moment of recovery from _that_ rather than from swinging his wand at criminals.

And yet, reality comes back all too quickly, destroying the glorious golden haze Harry left him in. Despite the wonder Draco still always feels when Harry gives him head (and not even after Draco'd done the same to him), today the warmth and liquid feeling don't last long. Everything leads back to Derek, somehow.

„You always look so surprised,“ Harry tells him after Draco has crawled up again, resting his head on Harry's chest and wiping his mouth.

„Hm?“

Harry's hands card through Draco's hair, which is still a total mess (Harry always has his hands in it when Draco sucks him and Draco doesn't plan on telling him that it's quite sexy).

„When I give you a blowjob.“

Draco huffs. This is something he's not so fond of – Harry's tendency to call him out on things he does in bed, as if he wants to analyze him. Draco doesn't like it.

„If it bothers you, you don't have to do it,“ Draco says, aware he's being childish.

He doesn't even have to look at him to know Harry is rolling his eyes.

„Draco.“

Harry saying his name like this makes his chest tighten.

„I just didn't take you for one to suck dick, is all.“

„I'm into men. I feel like the chances that I do are rather high, don't you agree?“

Draco never knows how to explain things like that to Harry. It seems like the Gryffindor lives in a completely different world when it comes to such matters.

„Yes, but... you seem to -“

Draco trails off. He's not sure whether he should really say this. Sometimes he doesn't know what's offensive and what isn't. This might be risky. He doesn't want Harry to get angry at him.

„I seem to...?“

Harry nudges Draco's head with his chin.

„Enjoy it?“

Draco's glad he can't look at Harry's face.

There is a pause and Draco ducks his head, sure that it was a mistake to say that.

„Of course I do. Don't you? I mean, don't you enjoy giving blowjobs?“

Draco blinks. He's never been asked that before.

To his chagrin, Harry shifts and tugs at Draco's shoulder until he sits up and they can look at each other.

„I do,“ Draco says, cheeks warming. _If it's you_ , he silently adds.

„Good,“ Harry says, some of the lightness returning to his voice. „Draco...“

This tone, Draco does not like. It's almost always followed by uncomfortable questions and he feels like this was enough for one morning. Plus, the way Harry studies his face makes him twitchy and awakens the urge to run and hide in him.

„You know that... you never have to do anything just for me, yeah?“

Draco's eyes flick up at him.

„I know.“

But even Draco realizes, at least partly, that that's not really true.

With Harry, everything is different and Draco is starting to see the amount of things that had been so, so wrong with Derek. And yet, it's hard to break patterns, unlearn things that are engraved in your brain.

„I'm not sure you do. I feel like you somehow think that you _have_ to please me, but if it's the other way around, you're surprised.“

Harry has this way of voicing things in a way that Draco has to stop and think that, well, if he says it like that, it really does seem stupid. Not fair.

Harry pushes Draco's hair behind his ear, then lets his hand linger, fingers tracing over Draco's cheeks.

„I'm not Derek, Draco. I never want you to feel less than me.“

Draco looks at him and, as always, Harry's rugged beauty takes his breath away.

„I know you're not Derek,“ Draco says finally.

They haven't talked about him. But Draco starts to think that maybe, Harry isn't as oblivious as he often seems. That he picks up on more things than Draco would like him to.

Draco leans forward and kisses Harry.

The Gryffindor hums against his lips.

„We should get ready for work,“ Draco says and has to laugh at Harry whining. He tries to pull Draco back into bed and Draco hesitates.

„I need to get to work,“ he says softly, putting his hands over Harry's on his waist, looking at him. Rationally, he knows that the Gryffindor is just joking. Draco could just swat his hands away and leave. And yet, his body is programmed to go still, wait. It's something Draco only notices now.

Something in Harry's expression shifts. He sits up and kisses Draco, letting go of his waist.

„Me too.“

Draco gets to shower first and he hesitates quite a while, raised wand hovering over the lock of the door. He wants to lock it. It's been a habit from... before and now the urge is even stronger, after Derek.

Draco takes a deep breath. If he wants to lock the damn door, he fucking will. Merlin.

With a click, the door locks and Draco steps into the shower.

The Auror Headquarters resemble an especially busy, rather uncoordinated beehive. Pansy has been run into by three people on her way to the office and she really does try her best not to get annoyed. Sam is there leaning against her table, coffee in hand and talking to Terry Boot.

„Parkinson,“ Archer says and Pansy drops her documents on his desk.

„I doubt that it'll help you all that much, but here's all that I could find in case of spell usage.“ Archer nods and waves her off, leaving the office with the papers in hand.

„Find anything helpful?“ Sam asks her as Boot returns to his own desk.

„Not really. Except that one of those wankers is a really powerful one. He's casting spells I've never heard of. You should watch out for him.“

Sam nods, pushing her long hair back.

„That must be Flint. He's tough. And dangerous, to be honest.“

„Did you catch any of them yet?“ Pansy asks, mirroring Sam's position.

„No,“ she sighs, adjusting her blouse. She looks tired, Pansy thinks. They probably all are.

„What about Derek Connor?“

Sam's dark eyes watch her knowingly.

„The other Aurors are working his case. Archer thinks that we're too... _involved_ to be professional when it comes to him.“

Even though Pansy knows that to be true, she'd rather have Sam on the case. And Potter, to be honest. Among all members of the new generation of Aurors, they are the most competent ones. Plus Draco and Blaise, of course. But Pansy doesn't want either of them near Derek.

Draco spends half of his morning being interrogated by Hermoine, who is anxious to know every last detail of what happened at Azkaban. Even though Draco understands her natural curiosity and, of course, her worry about Ron, he can already feel a headache arising from her relentless questioning.

„I'm sorry for grilling you like this,“ she says when the corners of Draco's mouth are starting to point downwards. „It must be difficult for you, knowing Connor is free again.“

Draco almost laughs at this. Difficult. That's one word for it.

„I'll be fine,“ he says and wants nothing more than to leave the office. Maybe get some coffee and work on his new project.

Hermoine gives him a wry look, brushing back her frizzy curls. Sometimes, Draco really wonders how this extraordinary woman ended up with Ron Weasley, of all people. She's so much more... refined than he is. And, in Draco's opinion, more attractive too, even though he knows that it's probably mostly her intelligence he finds intriguing.

„Draco, if I was you, I'd be terrified.“

„Is that supposed to make me feel better?“

She sighs and, to Draco's surprise, reaches out to pat him on the back. Draco tries not to flinch, but Hermoine notices anyway and draws her hand back.

„The Aurors will catch him soon, I'm sure.“

Draco touches his brow, then pushes his hair back. It's now a little longer than shoulder-length and he keeps thinking about cutting it. He's feminine enough with a short haircut already, and yet... Draco like his longer hair. How it feels under his fingers, how it softens his features a little. And Harry seems to like it too.

„If Harry doesn't blow up their whole quarters first,“ Draco says dryly, then bites his tongue. Hermoine just shoots him a look of complete understanding.

„One can only hope,“ she says, her gaze on the moonstone she's examining. „Harry always was a little hot-headed.“

Draco knows she's right, even though to him, it doesn't really feel like it. After Derek, _hot-headed_ takes on a whole new dimension.

And Harry is always so gentle with Draco. Sometimes, it infuriates the blond – as if Harry'd think Draco is fragile, which he really isn't. But it's also difficult because Draco doesn't know what to do with it, how to deal with all those feelings that are swirling in his chest when Harry acts like that.

„He's working on it,“ Draco says in Harry's defense.

„I know. He wants to be better for you.“

Hermoine's words and the knowing smile on her face throw Draco.

„What? No, I have nothing to do with it.“

„Yes, you do. Look, I don't want to inflate your ego, but you really make Harry strive to be better. It's been quite a while since I have seen him trying so hard. Since the war... he's always carried this anger and I never felt like he cared much to fight it. I think he thought it was righteous. But now, with you, he doesn't want to be like that anymore.“

It takes Draco a moment to process that. He's rather used to bringing out the worst in people – it's strange that Hermoine says it'd be the opposite with Harry.

When Draco leaves the Ministry in the early evening, Harry is still at the headquarters and probably will be there for some more hours. Afterall, they've come in pretty late and the Aurors are drowning in work.

The cold of London's December is cutting through Draco's coat, making him shiver.

He slips through the door of his favorite café – small and with wooden tables and little plastic flowers in vases for decoration. The coffee isn't the best Draco's ever had, but the hot chocolate is exceptional and so far, he's never run into anyone here that he knows

The waiter knows Draco as a regular by now and just smiles at him, asking: „The usual?“ Draco nods and sets up his laptop.

He hasn't told anyone about this and he's rather convinced he'll take this secret to his grave.

Draco writes.

It's nothing special and he wouldn't let anyone read it, but he finds that nothing clears his head like dipping into another world, transforming his twisted feelings into words and making up characters, who each get a little of Draco's baggage and a little of their own.

Sipping his hot chocolate and fingers flying over the keys, time passes all too quickly.

On his way home, Draco decides to stop by Diagon Alley to buy the new potions book that just came out yesterday and is supposed to include no less than five newly developed recipes. He'll definitely have to discuss it with Pansy as soon as she gets hers.

Draco keeps his head down and curses his characteristic blond hair – not for the first time. It's such an unsual color, it makes most people turn their heads and as soon as they do, their faces harden at the sight of the wayward Malfoy-offspring, who somehow wormed his way out of prison.

As a kid, Draco loved sauntering through Diagon. There is so much to see and he'd almost always met some friends with whom he could marvel at the newest broomsticks or pet the strangest animals.

Now thought, he can't really enjoy it anymore – not with so many people throwing dark glances at him.

Despite his hurry to leave the famous alley again, he risks a glimpse at the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

He pauses. Looks a little more closely.

A smile is playing around the corners of his mouth.

When Harry gets home this day, he is beyond tired. They've worked their asses off all day, running solely on coffee and yet, Harry feels like they're still at square one. It frustrates him to no end that he can't go after Derek, even though the rational part of his brain understands that it might be for the best.

Grimmauld Place is empty when Harry arrives and his heart sinks a tiny bit. It's not like Draco would be here every night, but his visits have become more frequent and the house is starting to feel lonely whenever the Slytherin isn't around.

Harry toes off his shoes and rubs his hands, trying to chase away the First-of-December cold. Just as he's contemplating whether he's got the energy to cook up some pasta or if a bowl of cereal will have to suffice, there is a tentatitve knock on the door.

Harry breaks into a smile. Only Draco knocks like this.

When Harry opens the door, the blond's cheeks are rosy from the cold and his hair a little messy from the hat he's probably just taken off. He's carrying a rather large shopping bag.

„Hey.“

Harry kisses him hello, Draco's lips cold and a little chapped.

„Can I come in?“ Draco asks, eyebrow raised and Harry hastily steps aside to let him enter.

„I was just about to make dinner,“ Harry says, heading back to the kitchen. „Have you eaten yet?“

„No, dinner sounds good.“

Draco follows him, his steps almost soundless. Harry knows no one who is able to move as quietly as Draco.

„How was your day?“ he asks, setting up a pot on the stove.

„Alright. Yours has probably been busy?“

Harry rolls his eyes and sighs.

„You can say that. Everyone's acting like Voldemort'd be back and no one's getting shit done.“

„I have something that might make your day a little better.“

Harry turns to Draco, smiling in anticipation. He can think of quite a lot of things Draco could do to make Harry's day better.

He's surprised when the blond holds the shopping bag up.

„Here. It's for you.“

Harry frowns in cofusion and looks into the bag. There is something like a big, rather flat package in there. He pulls it out and studies it. It takes him a moment to recognize it for what it is.

„An advent calendar?“

„Yes.“

Harry stares at it. There are small, drawn Quidditch players flying over a Quidditch pitch with Christmas decoration. The numbers on the small doors are moving, constantly switching places.

Harry's heart is too big for his chest. A huge lump is clogging his throat as he stares at the calendar.

„You don't like it?“

Draco sounds disappointed and Harry looks at him, still not able to speak.

Anxiety is clouding Draco's features now as he shifts his weight, playing with the hem of his jumper.

„Of course, you don't have to use it. I can take it back to my place, if you don't like it. It's probably been a stupid idea, I just -“

„Draco.“

The tone of Harry's voice makes Draco stop. His pale eyes are huge, fixed on Harry.

„Yes?“

„I... thank you. It's great.“

A careful smile is tugging at the corners of the blond's mouth.

„So you like it?“

Harry blinks. Speaking is still tricky. „I love it. I really...“ He trails off. Takes a deep breath. Draco seems confused, if not anxious anymore.

„It's nothing,“ he says. „I just saw it in the window and then... I thought of you. It wasn't really expensive, don't worry.“

Harry shakes his head, not sure what he's saying no to.

„It's not nothing. I've never had one. This is the first time anyone's ever...“

Now Harry feels stupid. It's just a sodding advent calendar. A sweet gesture, for sure. One that should make Harry smile. He should hug Draco and then snog him senseless, then get back to his pasta. It shouldn't be that big of a deal.

And yet, for Harry, it counts more than Draco could possibly fathom.

The Slytherin's features soften and for a moment, there is something like pain displayed on his face. It disappears as he comes closer, lifting a hand to cup Harry's cheek.

„I'm glad you like it,“ he says simply and now Harry manages a smile.

„I really do.“


	2. Chapter 2

„I'm gonna go fucking crazy,“ Sam says as she steps out of Pansy's floo.

„That bad?“

Pansy gets up from where she had flipped through the new potions book and hugs the other Slytherin. Sam smells like oranges and something sharper that reminds Pansy of ice cold water and new clothes.

„It's a shit show at the office,“ Sam says and drops down on Pansy's couch, removing her heels.

Pansy sits across from her, tugging her legs under.

„You know I love Harry, but when he's in a bad mood, it brings everyone else down as well. Please tell Draco to cheer him up with a good shag or something.“

Pansy hums non-commitally. She's not planning on telling Draco that.

„But are you making progress?“ Sam rests her head in her hand, looking at Pansy with tired eyes.

„I mean, yes, but things are moving slowly. There are two of the bunch we should be able to track down during the next twenty-four hours, but there are so many that actually managed to fly under our radars, it makes me think that we need some innovations.“

Pansy just nods. Then, not able to help herself, she asks: „What about Derek Connor?“

Sam pushes her hair back and shifts a little.

„We're not working his case, but as far as I'm informed... I don't think they have much on him yet.“

Pansy swallows. Knowing this bastard's out there makes her uneasy. Sam puts a hand on Pansy's and squeezes. „We'll find him.“

They probably will, but preferably before the wanker hurts Draco again.

„Yeah.“ Pansy squeezes back, smiling at Sam.

Draco is not a huge fan of Rose Brown, never has been. The Australian is sweet enough, but just too nice for Draco's liking. And too extroverted.

Pansy and her are flipping through the women's section at the shopping center and Draco wonders why he's even here. He suspects that Pansy is trying to distract him, cheer him up, but if that's the goal, she's not doing a very good job.

Rose's honey-blond hair is whipping around and her light voice is giving Draco headaches. She also tends to bring out Pansy's overly hyped, looney side.

He distances himself a little from the blabbing girls, letting his gaze sweep over the racks of clothing. If he were a woman, there'd be so many pretty things to wear. The men's section is absolutely boring compared to this.

He lets his fingers run over a shirt. It feels like silk and the emerald green color reminds him of Harry's eyes. The Chosen One turns him into a sap like this. It's terrible, Draco knows.

Just as Draco wants to move on, the print on the green shirt changes. The letters move and merge into something new until _Eat Sleep Rave Repeat_ turns into _Behind you!_  
Draco spins around, his heart at his throat, wand drawn. Bile is tasting bitter in his mouth.

There's nothing.

Hastily, Draco puts his wand away, hands shaking. The shirt's print has changed once again. _Shopping in the women's section, Drake?_

Draco's heart is hammering in his chest.

„Fuck you, Derek,“ he whispers, staring at the shirt as if he'd be hypnotized.

_I miss you too._

With a jolt, Draco starts, running through the shopping center like a maniac until he finds the restrooms.

Two men throw him irritated glances as Draco dashes past the sinks and into a stall. His breakfast and lunch splashes into the toilet and he's still coughing and retching when his stomach is painfully empty.

Slowly, he straightens his back and pushes his hair out of his face. He concentrates on breathing.

This is Derek playing mindgames and Draco can't let it get to him.

Still. Not many people know to push his triggers like Derek does. Draco wants to throw up again, but fights the urge. He leaves the stall and washes his hands, three times, just to be sure. He rinses his mouth and splashes some water into his face as well.

Only then, he remembers Pansy and Rose and the sickness is rising again.

With long strides, he leaves the restroom.

Draco is relieved, but not really surprised to see the girls continue their shopping unscathed. It would have been more than risky to attack them in a muggle's shopping center – especially since both are capable witches and hard to gull.

„Draco? Is everything alright?“

Pansy looks at him with slight concern. Draco smiles at her.

„Yes, just feeling a little unwell. I think I better go home and lie down for a bit.“

Pansy nods, apparently buying it, even though a slight frown stays on her forehead.

„Sure. I'll see you soon.“

Draco hugs her and nods at Rose, who's smiling at him, absolutely clueless. More than once, Draco wondered whether Pansy has ever told her about his disastrous relationship. He thinks not and is more than thankful for that.

„Potter.“

Harry turns around, not overly pleased to be called back by his superior on his way home. Draco said he'd come over and Harry really doesn't intend to be late. „Yes, Sir?“

Archer beckons him closer until Harry suppresses a sigh and sits down, in front of the Auror's desk.

„I've contemplated about whether or not to tell you this, but... I think you should know. We don't know where Connor is located at the moment, but we do know that he's paired up with Flint.“

Harry's stomach drops through the floor. Flint is the by far most dangerous of the lot. „Why?“

Archer hesitates. It's an unsual look on him and Harry instantly realizes how little he likes it.

„We're not quite sure, but... there appears to be bad blood between Flint and Lucius Malfoy.“

„Lucius Malfoy is in Azkaban. Still there. Or isn't he?“ Harry's heart is pounding.

„Yes, Malfoy's still put. But that isn't necessarily good for us, because...“

It dawns on Harry before Archer can say it.

„Because that means he might go after Draco instead.“

Harry closes his eyes. Fear is cursing through his body like venom.

„We're not sure yet. It's just a possibility.“

„No. It's the reason why Connor and Flint are working together. They're both after Draco.“

Archer's voice is unusually soft when he says: „It seems like it.“

Harry swallows. „We need to catch them. Now.“

„We're working on it, don't worry. In the mean time, Draco is under Ministry protection. We're tracking his every move. As soon as there is something out of the ordinary, we'll be sending forces.“

Harry knows that Draco won't like it to be tracked and supervised like that, but Harry for once is glad.

„I assume you'll tell him to be careful,“ Archer says before Harry leaves the office.

„It isn't really a surprise though, is it?“ Draco says, not looking at Harry. He knew Derek wouldn't let him go that easily. He thinks of Draco as his.

Harry's frowning in deep concern and Draco can feel his heart pounding against his hands.

They're sitting on the couch at Grimmauld, Harry holding him, drawing comfort from Draco in his arms. Memories of the green shirt from yesterday are ghosting through Draco's mind. He should probably tell Harry about it. And yet... Harry is already so worried. Draco doesn't want to be the reason the Gryffindor loses his mind and does something stupid. Also, it's not like this shirt-incident would tell them anything they don't already know.

„The Ministry is protecting you,“ Harry says, looking at Draco with those breathtakingly intense eyes. „And I will do the same. No one will hurt you. I promise.“

Draco shakes his head.

„Don't promise things you have no control over.“

Pain flickers over Harry's face.

„I can't let you get hurt, Draco. I won't.“

But Draco takes his hand and keeps shaking his head.

„You can't always be there, Harry.“

„I can try.“

They sit in silence, Draco playing with Harry's fingers. They're rougher than his own. Strong. And yet, Draco knows that Harry is living a fantasy. There is no such thing as safety. You're never safe. No one can protect Draco, not even the Savior.

„Harry, I need you to promise me something.“

„What?“

„Promise me that if anything happens to me, you won't blame yourself.“

„Nothing will -“

„Promise me.“

„Draco, that's -“

„Harry. I can't stand thinking you'll beat yourself up because of me. I don't want you to... put blame on yourself that isn't yours. So, please. Promise me.“

Harry looks at him. Then closes his eyes for a moment and nods. „Fine. I promise that if anything should happen to you, I won't wallow in self-hate. But it doesn't matter, because nothing will happen to you.“

Draco can only rolls his eyes at that.

„You're so stupid sometimes, I can't believe I even put up with you.“

Harry grins. „Well, I can be quite charming.“

Draco snorts, lifting his brows. „You? Charming? Maybe compared to an Erumpent.“

Harry laughs and pulls Draco close in a quick motion, then wrestles him until Draco's lying flat on his back, looking up at Harry.

„You're into my Erumpent-charm.“

„You're gross, Potter.“

Harry grins, then leans down and kisses Draco.

„Wait a second,“ Harry says and Draco is just barely able to resist the urge to groan and pull Harry close again. The Gryffindor is scrambling over to the nightstand, searching for lube while Draco is fighting his impatience.

„You really are blind without your glasses,“ he remarks when Harry finally returns, small bottle in hand.

„And you're really impatient.“

Draco rolls his eyes before Harry kisses him and all he can do is gasp as the brunet's hands wander up his thighs again, gently pushing them apart. He doesn't really notice that Harry is opening the bottle. He's kissing him and pushing his hips up a little, distracting him, bumping against the Gryffindor's elbow.

Something hits Draco's belly unexpectedly and liquid cold is running over his stomach. He flinches and looks down.

„Shit, sorry!“

Harry has dropped the open bottle.

Draco starts laughing at the Gryffindor's clumsiness and Merlin, that idiot really is a blindworm.

He stops himself, body tensing. He holds his breath, anxiety washing over him. „Sorry, I didn't mean...“

Harry is blinking down at him, amusement and embarrassment in his green eyes morphing into confusion at the change in Draco's demeanor.

„No, you're right.“ Harry grins, a little ruefully. „As much as I hate to admit it, you are right about my horrible eyesight. And I _guess_ I can be clumsy.“

His grin turns wry and he rolls his eyes at himself as he reaches for one of the pillows to clean up the mess on Draco's belly.

Draco's heart is pounding in his chest and he can't tear his eyes away from Harry's face.

„What?“ the Gryffindor asks, putting the pillow away.

Draco swallows, then wraps his arms and legs around the man in bed with him. „I think I can forgive your clumsiness,“ he says, a little hoarsely.

Harry is blinking down at him, confusion and fondess and adoration on his face. „Lucky me.“

„There's nothing you can do but be viligant,“ Ron says, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry ruffles his hair, trying to keep his anxiety at bay.

„I know,“ he says, looking at the calendar Draco got him, enjoying the sweet ache in his heart. „But it drives me crazy. Knowing there is this maniac out there to get Draco.“

„I know,“ Ron says and Harry can see he really does understand. „Still, you can't do anything about it. The Ministry has an eye on Draco. Connor and Flint won't get to him.“

Harry wants to believe Ron. But he knows guys like Derek. He won't stop chasing Draco until they throw him into a cell again.

„Ron, he... hurt Draco. A lot. More than Draco tells me.“

Ron tilts his head, readjusting his long legs and reaching for the cup of tea Harry made him. „What _does_ he tell you?“

„Nothing, really. I know Derek's been an asshole to him, like, a real one. He hit him. And, sometimes...“

Harry pauses. It's probably not right to talk to Ron about this, about how Harry keeps wondering in what other ways Derek has hurt Draco. What made Draco afraid to laugh when Harry's being a clumsy fool in bed, what makes him think he's not worth of pleasure, not the way he thinks Harry is.

Harry takes a deep breath to calm himself. „I just think that Derek is one of the really bad ones. I can't let him lay hands on Draco again.“

In Ron's eyes, Harry can see that his friend is able to read between the lines.

„We won't let him. Okay? The Ferret won't get hurt again.“

Harry nods. He'll just have to believe it, otherwise he'll go insane. They're sipping their tea quietly for a while, then Ron clears his throat. „There's actually something I've been wanting to talk to you about.“

„What is it?“

Ron shifts in his seat, clearly nervous. „I want to propose to Hermoine.“

Harry lets out a little shout. „That's great! Congratulations, mate. Do you have the ring already?“

Ron shakes his head, a shaky grin on his face. „I'm just... Do you think she'll say yes?“

Harry frowns at him. „What kind of question is that? Of course she will.“

„It's not that I think she wouldn't be serious about us, but you know 'Moine. She's so focused on her work and that's great and all, but I'm just not sure if she's ready to... you know, seal the deal yet. Remember how it went when I asked her to move in.“

Harry considers it for a moment. „I think you should ask her. She might not want to get married right away, but I can't imagine she won't be happy about you proposing. I'm sure she knows she wants to marry you, and as long as that's clear, it doesn't really matter whether you're engaged for a few months or two or three years, does it?“

Ron's face lights up at this. „Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Thanks, mate.“

Harry grins. „No problem.“

They're looking at each other, smiling and shaking their heads.

„Merlin, I can't believe it. You're getting married.“

Harry really can't, even though he's seen it coming for years now. But in his head, they're all still so young. Ron grins, almost a little maniacly.

„I know, it's crazy. But it's how they say: If you know, you know.“

Harry smiles. „Yeah.“

Ron has known for a long time now. Probably not quite as long as Hermoine, but for both of them, there had never really been anyone else. Harry envies that, just a little. It's hard to think you've found something like that and then lose it.

Even though he's now glad that Ginny broke up with him, Harry still imagines it to be nice to find your one this early on.

Harry's heart speeds up. In his heart, he knows for him, Draco is the one. But Harry and Draco aren't Ron and Hermoine, are they?

They're not easy like Harry's friends are. They're complicated. Difficult, sometimes. And even though Harry knows that Draco likes him and likes being with him, he's not sure the Slytherin's feeling go quite as deep as Harry's own.

„Are you thinking About Ferret?“ Ron asks, a knowing glance in his eyes.

Caught, Harry crooks a smile. „Yeah. I was just... I really like him, Ron.“ Admitting it out loud makes his heart beat with anxiety again.

„I know you do.“

„I'm not sure he likes me as much,“ Harry says, quietly.

„Why do you say that?“

Harry shrugs, sipping on his tea. „He's... complicated. Not easy to read. He still doesn't want to go public and I get it, it's hard being with me, with the press slaughtering our relationship in the Prophet, but...“

But Harry wants this. Maybe even needs it. He wants Draco Malfoy to belong to him.

„Hermoine can be complicated too,“ Ron says.

„Not like Draco.“

„Probably not the same way, but remember Hogwarts. After Hogwarts, even. It took us so bloody long to finally admit our feelings for each other...“ Ron laughs. „Now, it's funny, but back then... hell, sometimes I hated her. For making me feel like it's absolutely hopeless.“

„You felt that way?“

Ron nods. „Yeah, totally. For a long time. After I left you two in that bloody tent, I thought... she'd never forgive me for that. Never. I'd messed up for good. And it took a while, you know it. But in the end...“ Ron smiles.

„In the end you wooed her with your compassion for the poor house elves trapped in the kitchens,“ Harry says, grinning.

„Exactly.“

„I don't think Draco would be as impressed if I'd started to talk his ear off about the mistreatments of house elves.“

„Probably not. I think no one's as crazy as Hermoine. But there is something else for sure.“

Harry thinks about last night, the look on Draco's face when Harry'd said he was right, he was being a clumsy idiot. About how Draco had wrapped his body around Harry's and kissed him like he couldn't get enough of him. Like he was intoxicated.

„Maybe.“

Ron gives his shoulder a rough pat. „I'm sure you'll win him over, mate. Afterall, the Ferret's been a sucker for you since day one.“

Pansy is in a bad mood. Draco can tell the second she walks into the bar.

„What is it, Pans?“ Blaise asks before Draco can, crossing his legs elegantly and sipping on his drink.

Harry catches Draco's gaze and Draco shakes his head just a little, saying I don't know what's happened, either.

Sam has sat up a little straighter, patting the chair next to her. Pansy drops down, her red lips forming a tight line.

„It's just Rose. Nothing important,“ Pansy says and Draco knows that annoyed tone. He's heard it during the end of her relationship with Blaise and now he's hearing it again.

„Spill the tea,“ Sam says. „We've got all night. And a lot of alcohol.“

Pansy hesitates, but Draco knows her well enough to see that she wants to talk about it.

„Don't keep us in suspense,“ he says, taking a sip from his firewhiskey.

„Oh, fine. If you insist.“ She brushes her hair back and Sam pushes her glass in Pansy's direction. Pansy smiles at her, before lifting it to her lips. „It's just... she's always so bubbly. Don't get me wrong, I like that she's so positive and upbeat, but sometimes it's just _too much_. I can never complain about anything to her without feeling bad. She's coming up with advise and how to look at the bright side and I just hate it.“

Draco sees Harry lifting his brows, looking amused. Blaise is wearing a similar expression.

„You're mad at her for trying to cheer you up?“

„It's _how_ she does it.“

„Don't you think you're being a little petty, love?“ Draco asks her and she meets his eyes. The hint of guilt he sees there confirms that that isn't the actual problem.

„Maybe. But I just – I don't know. She annoys me, sometimes.“ Pansy pauses. „I'm a bad person for saying that about my girlfriend. Aren't I?“

„No, you're not,“ Harry says calmly, lacing his fingers through Draco's. It sparks a lightness in Draco's chest like nothing else can. „Feelings aren't rational, afterall. But... I think it indicates that there is something deeper causing a problem in your relationship.“

Pansy flips her hair back. „There is no problem. Everything's going well. I'm just...“

They all wait for her to continue, but it doesn't happen. It's Harry who breaks the silence again. „I mean, sometimes it just seems that way. When I was with Ginny, I thought everything was going great, too. But it wasn't.“

„What went wrong?“ Pansy asks.

Harry pauses, running a finger through the condensation on his glass.

„Well, for once, I wasn't in love with her. I thought I was, but she knew I wasn't. We wanted different things, in the end.“

Pansy nods, then sighs.

Harry goes on, looking directly at Pansy now: „Ginny used to be annoyed all the time with me, too. I didn't get it, you know. Because I didn't do anything wrong, not really. Ginny just... she was feeling trapped. I wasn't what she wanted anymore. The relationship wasn't what she wanted.“

Draco looks at Harry. It's the first time he's heard him talk about Ginny like that, about their relationship. Even though it still sparks some jealousy in his heart, he's mostly proud. He remembers how bitter and terse Harry used to be when it came to her, not able to completely move past it.

Now, he sounds like he really thought about it, analyzed it even. And moved on.

„She should have told you that, right?“ Pansy says, her voice small. She's looking at the table.

„She did. In the end. But, yeah, she could have done it sooner. It would have spared both of us some pain. Even though I have no illusions, getting dumped is always shitty. There's not really a right way to do it, I don't think.“

Pansy nods, slowly.

„Merlin, Potter. I didn't know you'd have such wise advise to offer,“ Blaise says and even though his tone is ironic, Draco knows he's impressed. Draco realizes with some shame that he's proud of Harry. Proud of him impressing Draco's bloody hard to impress Slytherin friends.

Sam puts a hand on Pansy's shoulder. Blaise is watching them out of his dark eyes.

„You shouldn't feel bad about feeling a certain way. As Harry said, feelings are irrational. You can't control them.“

Pansy swallows, then smiles. She's clearly done talking about it now. „You guys are the sweetest.“ She blows Harry a kiss and Draco feigns indignance.

„Hands off,“ he says and Pansy grins at him.

„I'm not touching him,“ she says sweetly and then they smile at each other.

Things are so much easier since he's not with Derek anymore.

„Where's Terry?“ Blaise asks. „He normally doesn't miss our Fridays.“

Sam huffs, gaze darkening. „He's out with my brother.“

„Really?“ Draco didn't expect the two of them to actually start dating.

„Yeah. I'm not sure what to think about it,“ Sam admits.

Harry smiles at her. „Terry's a sweetheart. He'll take care of Otis.“

„I know he is a good one, but... Otis has never had a boyfriend. He doesn't know how to play the game yet. And Terry's older than him. He's got way more experience with all of it.“

„But that might be a good thing,“ Draco says. Not always, of course, but he doesn't know anyone nicer than Terry. He'll be kind to Otis and that's not easy to find, in Draco's experience.

„Maybe,“ Sam says, clearly not convinced. „But I just can't imagine that Terry will be interested in a relationship. And then he'll break Otis' heart.“

Draco shrugs. „But at least, if he has his eye on Terry, he won't turn to one of the plenty creeps out there that are after young impressionable boys.“

He can feel Harry's sideways glance but chooses to ignore it. To cover his heating cheeks, he leans forward and takes a sip from his drink, his hair hiding his face from Harry.

„And you can't protect him from a broken heart, Sam,“ Harry says, not without empathy. „We all have to go through that at some point.“

Sam sighs. „You're right. I just... I guess it's just hard for me to see him grow up. He's my baby, you know?“

Draco doesn't have siblings, so it's not that easy for him to understand. He's more than a little indignant, if not shocked, when both Pansy and Blaise look at him and start nodding in synch.

„I know what you mean,“ Pansy says, still looking at Draco. Harry laughs.

„Are you implying you see me as a baby, Pansy?“ Draco asks, voice in a mockingly dangerous tone.

„My little baby, yes.“

„May I remind you that you used to have a crush on me?“ Draco says, not ready to be belittled by his best friend.

Pansy rolls her eyes and flaps her hand. „Oh, please. That was in fourth year.“

„And fifth.“

„It was before Blaise caught you shouting _Harry_ while wanking in the bloody shower, that's for sure.“

Blood is rushing into Draco's head so quickly that it makes him dizzy. Pansy looks shocked, her eyes wide. „Oops.“

Draco still hasn't found his voice.

Blaise, the traitor, bursts into laughter, firewhiskey shooting out of his nose. That makes Sam laugh, while Draco shakes his head, incredulous.

„I hate you,“ he tells Pansy, hardly noticing Harry squeezing his hand, grinning at him.

„No, you love me,“ Pansy says, pleadingly. She reaches for Draco's free hand, but he pulls it away. „Oh, come on. I bet Potter knew already anyway. You were being so obvious.“

„I actually didn't.“

Draco glances at Harry, his face on fire. The gleam in Harry's eyes doesn't do anything to lessen his embarrassment.

„You can't be mad at me for more than a minute, you know that,“ Pansy says, pursing her lips at Draco.

„I can't believe you. We're not friends anymore. I break up with you,“ he says, crossing his arms. Pansy's face relaxes. She knows he doesn't mean it.

„Sorry, love. It must be the booze that got me so loose.“

Draco shakes his head.

„Always blame it on the alcohol,“ he grumbles, but is already feeling is anger fade. Pansy is right. He really can never be mad at her.

His embarrassment though is still very prominent. When Pansy finally turns away to say something to Sam (probably indulge her in more embarrassing stories about Draco), Harry tugs at his hand. Draco doesn't look at him.

„Hey.“

With a deep inhale, Draco turns around and stares Harry square in the face, defiantely. „What, Potter?“

Harry's face is glowing. There is a warmth and happiness in his eyes that makes Draco's mouth go dry. „You had a crush on me in school?“

Draco rolls his eyes, blush still on his face. „I might have found you attractive, for some incomprehensible reason.“

„I thought you hated me.“

„Oh, I did.“

Harry smiles. „So, you just wanted to shag me, then?“

Draco swallows. He had been infatuated with Harry, but Harry already knows way more than he was supposed to. „You could have persuaded me, I guess.“

Harry grins, so incredibly smug.

„You have to tell me about those wanking fantasies of yours some time.“

Draco flushes a bright red again, just as the color was finally starting to fade.

„Forget it, Potter.“

Usually, their weekly get-togethers end around one in the morning, everyone slightly tipsy and ready for bed. But tonight, no one seems to want to leave and the alcohol consumption is steadily increasing (after Pansy dropping that bomb, Draco needed two shots of vodka to get over it). Blaise is warming up and starts to tell some fascinating stories about his trips to France and Italy with his mother and Draco doesn't even notice how much he's laughing or how he's leaning against Harry, who's got an arm wrapped around him, caressing Draco's side and smiling, not speaking all that much.

Samantha is looking at Blaise, her shoulders brushing Pansy's, while Pansy keeps stealing the Chinese's drinks, looking at her under her lashes.

Draco can't remember the last night he felt this comfortable in a group.

„I should really get home,“ Samantha sighs when it's already around three AM. „Just to check whether Otis came home.“

They're all taking their leave, exchanging overboarding hugs and stumbling a little. Draco is definitely drunk, drunk enough to have trouble walking a straight line, but not drunk enough to feel sick.

Standing in front of Felix's in the cold, Draco looks at Harry, his green eyes on him. The Slytherin smiles, feeling relaxed and confident and (as always when he's drunk) very touchy.

„Can you apparate us?“ he asks and Harry nods.

They spin into the darkness, Draco holding on to Harry, not afraid.

When they land on Grimmauld's doorstep, Draco is already kissing Harry, open-mouthed and a little sloppily. Harry laughs against Draco's lips and it takes him a while to fumble out the keys.

Inside, Draco throws one leg up, hooking it around Harry's, arms wrapped around the Gryffindor's neck and kissing every inch of him he can reach.

„Woah, slow down.“

But Draco doesn't want to. The alcohol gives him a confidence he usually doesn't possess, it makes him soft and relaxed and he knows that it will all be way easier tonight than it usually would.

Harry puts his hands on Draco's slim hips and pushes him away just a little.

„Hey,“ he says, smiling at him, badly disguised want on his face.

Draco looks up at him, his world narrowing to the beautiful face.

„Fuck me,“ he says, not breaking eye-contact.

Harry blushes and looks away, his fingers digging into Draco's hips. „You're drunk.“

Draco rolls his eyes and tries to kiss Harry again. The Gryffindor dodges him. „So what? I won't pass out.“

„I don't want it like that, Draco.“

Draco doesn't understand and through the pleasant veil of alcohol intoxication, insecurity is rising in him again.

„You never want to.“ He knows that he wouldn't say this if it wasn't for the booze.

„What?“

„You never want to fuck me. I don't understand. Is it because I'm a Death Eater? Or because I was with Derek before you?“

Draco's throat is tight now and he lets his arms slip away. This feeling of rejection is a familiar one and it still gets to him, makes him feel so small.

„If you really think I don't want to, then you must be more oblivious than I am. I want you, Draco.“

Draco can't look at him, but Harry does this thing, lifting Draco's face until their eyes meet.

„Then why?“ Draco asks, voice small.

Harry takes a deep breath, then rests his forehead against Draco's. „Because I'm afraid I'll hurt you. I know that Derek did. And I can't trust you to tell me when you don't want something. You never do, Draco.“

This is too much. Draco pulls away, steps back. Creates some distance.

„I'm not a fucking virgin, Potter.“

„Yeah, I know.“

They both know that Draco just can't answer to what Harry really said. It's so hard to talk about.

„Draco.“ Harry's eyes are searching his and Draco meets them, if uncertainly. „I'm really just afraid to fuck things up. I never want to be someone who hurts you. Between us... I want everything to be different. From what it was with you and Derek.“

Draco doesn't say anything.

„You know you can talk to me, right?“ The pain and urgency in Harry's voice pushes Draco over the edge.

„I'm ashamed,“ he admits, his quiet voice loud in the silent room.

„There's nothing to be ashamed of.“

But Harry doesn't get it. He doesn't know what it's like, to be told that you're worthless, over and over again until you believe it. He doesn't know what it's like when someone gets off on your pain. And, the worst of all: Draco let it happen. He just let it happen.

They look at each other, searching the other's face for understanding. Draco knows that one wrong word could destroy them. He'd run. He knows he would.

„I don't know what it's like to be you,“ Draco says, finally.

„How do you mean that?“

He hesitates, not sure how to say it. „I mean... I don't know what it's like for you, to be in a relationship. How you think. How you want.“

Harry's face softens. „I'll show you if you let me.“

The ghost of a wry smile is playing around Draco's lips. „I just gave you permission to.“

Harry smiles back, then comes closer until he can cup Draco's face his hands.

„Well, this is one example of how I don't do it. No sex when one of us is this drunk. Especially not trying something new.“

Draco looks at him for a long time. Studies the face he's come to know so well, its edges and caves and blemishes. He can feel something inside of him lift. Or maybe settle.

„Okay. Then we'll try it your way.“


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a fair bit of smut in this chapter. It's not really any more explicit than it is in the rest of this series, but I just wanted to give a little heads-up.

„I need your help.“

Pansy lifts her perfectly drawn eyebrow. Blaise Zabini asking for help is not something that happens very often.

„I'm shocked. With what?“

He's standing next to her in the lab and she wonders how in the hell he's got time for a casual visit right now with all those criminals on the loose.

„I think... I want to take out Samantha.“

Pansy doesn't look up from her work, but for a moment, the letters and numbers in front of her eyes lose all meaning. „Alright. Why do you need my help?“

Blaise sighs, looking over her shoulder at the protocol she's writing. „She doesn't trust me anymore.“

„Because you told her you weren't looking for something serious.“

„Yes.“

„Well, are you now?“

Blaise hesitates. „I can't be sure, but I want to try. There is something about Samantha that just... intrigues me. She's interesting.“

Pansy bites her lip. „I'm not really sure how to help. Except for telling you not to be the asshole I know you can be, Blaise.“

The Slytherin rolls his eyes. „I'm not planning on it.“

Pansy really isn't sure if she likes the thought of Blaise (her ex, on top of everything) to go out with Sam. He's broken a few too many hearts over the last years.

Draco is on his way to the Ministry, smiling. His Sunday has been rather glorious – spending the whole day in bed with Harry Potter, doing absolutely nothing but eating, watching movies and making out, has made it under his top three of favorite activities.

He decided to walk so he could grab a coffee on his way. Real coffee, not the plonk they're dishing out at the Ministry. On his way to the toilets (the entry to the Atrium), he takes another sip – and stops dead, staring at his cup.

_Watch your back, Drake._

Draco drops the cup and spins around, wand drawn. But of course, no one's there. His heart is hammering in his chest and he feels ready to throw up.

He doesn't pick up the cup, but heads toward the Ministry in long strides.

It takes him a while to calm down, working with Hermoine on another dark artefact the effect of which they have yet to figure out. Only after some hours, he realizes that maybe, this torment has an upside. It's not impossible that Draco might be able to interact with Derek through those messages. If Draco is really lucky, maybe he can get Derek to let something slip.

It takes him some contemplation, all under Hermoine's watchful eye, but at lunch time, he's made a decision.

He spends way too much time awkwardly standing on the street and muttering spells under his breath, trying to hide his wand from curious muggle eyes, until he manages to summon the portable tumbler he's left on the ground earlier this day.

With it in a plastic bag, he heads to the Ministry.

His phone beeps. Harry's sent him a text, asking whether he wants to grab lunch. Draco curses inwardly. He'd counted on Harry being too caught up in work to ask him for lunch. That way, he wouldn't have had to lie and say he's spending lunch with Pansy. Which might actually be the truth, if the Slytherin got time for him.

„Do you need some love advise as well?“ Pansy asks as soon as Draco closes the door to her lab behind his back.

„No. Who needed love advise?“

„Blaise. Why are you here then?“

Draco is still not sure if this is a smart decision. He may trust Pansy with his life, but he also knows that she doesn't always trust him to make the right choices for himself. „I need your help. As a lab rat.“

„With what?“

He takes a breath and tells her about Derek. As he expected, Pansy is not only horrified, but also determined to alert the Aurors immediately.

„I don't want Harry to know. He'll freak out,“ he says, hands on Pansy's shoulders to hold her back. She has her eyes narrowed, arms crossed.

„Draco, we need to do something about this. Derek is dangerous.“

„I'm planning to do something. I came to ask you to check this cup, maybe you can find something useful.“

„You're not an Auror. Let them do their job.“

Draco hesitates. „If you find something that you think will help them with their investigation, tell them. But if not, it'll only make Harry uneasy. I'm already under protection, Pansy. If they put one more spell on me, I'll start glowing like a firefly.“

Pansy looks at him and he can see the fight slowly going out of her.

„And if Derek knows I've ratted him out, he might stop sending those messages.“

„Wouldn't that be better?“

„Not if they might contain hints.“

Pansy sighs. „I don't like this.“

„Me neither.“

There is silence for a moment, while Pansy is thinking and Draco hoping.

„Okay, fine. I'll check this for you. But if I find anything – anything at all – that might possibly be of help for the Aurors, I'll tell them about it.“

„Deal.“

„I'm done,“ Sam says, beyond tired. Her lipstick has mostly vanished over the course of the day, her plait is coming undone and her eyes seem a bit swollen.

„Me too.“ Harry is sure he doesn't look any better than his coworker.

At least they've made a little progress today – one wayward Ex-Death Eater is behind bars again. And yet, no one has gotten hold of Flint or Derek yet and that's what Harry is most concerned about.

„Is Draco coming over tonight?“ Sam asks as they make their way to the Atrium.

Harry shakes his head. „He's with Parkinson.“

„Then would you like grabbing dinner together? Otis is out with Terry again and... well, I don't like eating alone.“

„Sure thing.“

Harry studies Sam over some takeaway.

„Is everything alright with you?“ he asks carefully. Maybe it's just the stress at work, but Harry feels like there might be something else.

„Yeah,“ Sam says, wiping her hands on a napkin. Harry waits. „Actually, no. Not quite. I just... I have a hard time accepting that Otis is going out with Terry.“

„Because it's weird for you that Terry's your coworker?“

She tugs her legs under and brushes some of the loose strands back that escaped her plait. „Yes, but that's not the main reason. It's simply strange that he's going out at all.“

„Why? He's nineteen, isn't he?“

„I know, but... I'm just afraid he'll get hurt.“

Harry shifts on the couch to get more comfortable, looking at Sam.

„Terry is a nice guy, Sam. He'll be the perfect gentleman.“

„I know!“

With a groan, Sam buries her face in her arms, then looks up again. „It's just... he's such an easy target.“

„You keep implying that, but why?“

Sam gives him a wry look. „A young boy in women's clothes? Come on, Harry.“

She has a point, but Harry still thinks she's overreacting.

„Yeah, I get it, but that's why it's good he's with Terry, isn't it? He's not judgmental at all or anything like that. I'm sure the two of them will have a good time.“

The blanket rustles as Sam draws it up. „You're right.“

„I am.“ Harry smiles at her, trying to be a calming presence.

„Our father kicked him out, you know.“

The revelation is said quietly and Harry holds his breath.

„As soon as he found out Otis does drag, it was over. I was twenty back then, Otis fourteen. I found a flat for us and... our parents haven't talked to us since then. Five years, no word.“

Harry doesn't know what to say. Anger is flaring in his chest, mixed with painful compassion. „I'm sorry, Sam.“

„It's alright. We're better off without them. I just can't help but think... all the things Otis is missing, you know?“

To Harry's shock, a tear is rolling down Sam's cheek. Then another one.

Harry never knows what to do when people cry.

„He doesn't talk about it, but I know he misses them. To hear from your own parents that you're not loved, that you're an abomination... it breaks you, in some way.“

Harry reaches out, touches her shoulder tentatively. Sam laughs, a watery sound, and wipes the tears away. „Merlin, I'm sorry.“

„It's okay.“

She blinks, trying to get a grip on herself.

„I think you're very brave. Standing up for your brother like that takes some courage.“

Still wiping her face gingerly, she throws him a wry look. „You would have done the same.“

Harry doesn't argue.

„Whatever.“ She flaps her hand. „On a lighter note, I've got a date with Blaise.“

Harry raises his brows. „Oh, really?“

„Yeah. I must be crazy. But he can be very persuasive and... I just thought, why the hell not?“

Since he's dating Draco Malfoy, Harry will be the last person to tell Sam who to go out with. „Well, then I hope you'll have fun.“

Before Sam can answer, the flames of the floo turn green and Parkinson stumbles through.

„I need a glass of wine immediately,“ Parkinson says as she brushes dust off her clothes. When she looks up, her eyes land on Harry and she stops. „Oh. I didn't know you'd be here.“

It's obvious she isn't exactly pleased about Harry's presence.

The Gryffindor looks between the two girls, then says: „I was just about to go, actually.“

„Are you sure?“ Sam says quietly, her gaze flickering to Parkinson for a moment. „I don't want to kick you out.“

„Nah, it's fine. I'll see you tomorrow.“

With a smile at Sam and a nod at Parkinson, he throws some floo powder into the fireplace.

„Is everything alright? You seem distracted.“

Harry is watching Draco from his position on the couch. The blond looks up from the stack of paper in front of him.

„Yes. I'm fine.“

Harry hums, not quite convinced. Draco gets up and joins him on the couch. Just like everyone lately, Draco seems tired. Harry lightly brushes his hair back.

„I've been thinking,“ he says, already anxious.

„About?“

Draco snuggles closer to him and Harry keeps petting his hair.

„Christmas. I normally spend it at the Burrow, with Ron and Hermoine and, well, everyone else, basically.“

„I assumed you do.“

„You'll probably want to spend Christmas with your mother, but... if you'd like to, you could come with me as well. I'd love to go with you.“

Harry's heart is beating a little too fast. Draco looks at him, his expression unreadable.

„Look, I know that you didn't want to go public and I understand that. But telling the Weasleys wouldn't be the same as going public. The press wouldn't know.“

That's quite the stretch, Harry is aware. If the whole Weasley clan plus spouses knows about them, it'll only be a matter of time until the rest of wizarding London will as well.

„It's fine if you don't want to,“ Harry adds, confidence fading by the second. „I just... I don't know. I guess I'd really like to spend Christmas with you.“

Draco's mouth softens and he looks down. „I'll think about it, alright?“

It's as good as Harry is going to get, so he smiles. „Of course.“

The weeks before Christmas pass in a haze of workload fueled by coffee, exhausted Felix's-Fridays fueled by booze and some sparsely scattered afternoons with Harry, fueled by the liquid desire that seems to live in Draco's body now.

The Aurors manage to catch half of the escaped prisonors – Flint and Derek aren't among them.

Draco gets two more messages from his beloved ex-boyfriend, one on his laptop and one on a check he recieves at his favorite café. So far, he's no closer on getting any information from Derek. Pansy didn't find anything useful on the cup.

„It's just a bloody cup,“ she'd said, clearly frustrated. Draco wasn't too shocked – he didn't expect any revelations.

Draco spends more and more of his nights at Grimmauld. He finds he sleeps better in Harry's bed – and Harry isn't as high-strung at work when he's waking up with Draco.

If it weren't for the blond though, they would frequently come in late for work. It's only Draco's punctuality and self-restraint that prevents Harry from getting a reprimand for tardiness.

Draco still locks the bathroom door when he showers. Harry doesn't complain.

Once though, when they were having breakfast, Harry had casually mentioned: „I noticed you're locking the door when you shower.“

Draco had gone stiff at the kitchen counter, almost spilling the coffee he was pouring. Very carefully, he'd set the pot down and, without turning to Harry, answered: „I do. Does it bother you?“

Harry had looked at him funnily. „No, it's none of my business. Just, if you don't want me to come in, you could just say so. I'd knock first anyway.“

And that was that.

Or almost. When Draco didn't respond, the Gryffindor had added: „Even though you're very welcome to join me when I shower. You don't even have to knock.“

Draco has made use of that offer several times now.

„Are you ready?“ Harry says, looking at Draco in anticipation.

They're standing in the kitchen, both armed with presents and Draco thinks he's about to throw up. He still can't believe he agreed to this.

„Not really,“ he admits.

Harry smiles warmly and kisses him. „Don't worry, they'll love you.“

Draco throws him a deadly glance. „They won't and you know it.“

„Well, maybe not immediately, but they will soon enough. I promise.“

„You and your promises. When will you ever learn?“

Harry winks at him. „Come on, Malfoy. Let's get going.“

Harry tries his very best not to show Draco that he's nervous. The Slytherin is nervous enough for both of them and Harry has the distinct feeling that, if he'd show his own anxiety, Draco would freak out completely.

„Harry! So good you're here, mate.“ Ron beams at him, patting him roughly on the back.

„Good to be here,“ Harry smiles. It smells like cinammon and roast and apples.

„Hey, Ferret.“

Draco takes the tiniest step back as he tends to do when confronted with men he doesn't know well and Ron opts to hold out his hand instead of hugging Draco.

„Hello. Thank you for the invitation,“ Draco says stiffly and Ron rolls his eyes.

„Don't say that to Molly. It's a given for her that significant others are obligated to spend Christmas at the Burrow.“

Draco nods, apparently not knowing what else to say.

„Will and Fleur are here already. And I think...“

„Harry!“ A smiling Ginny comes bursting through the door, dragging Luna behind her.

Harry grins and reaches down to hug her.

„Good to see you, Harry,“ Luna lilts, her long blond hair curled. It seems she's forgotten the back of her head though, leaving the whole thing looking a little strange.

Harry turns to see Draco and Ginny standing in front of each other, not saying anything for a split second. Then Ginny breaks into a smile again and goes in for a full-blown hug.

„So nice to finally get to see you. Harry's rather possessive when it comes to you.“

Harry rolls his eyes. „Thanks, Gin.“

She winks at him. „Oh, I get it. It's the hair. There's just something about blonds...“ She grins at Luna.

„Ginny is just joking,“ the Ravenclaw says. „She doesn't actually think haircolor is very important.“

That makes Ron and Harry laugh and Draco looks endearingly confused.

„Yeah, we've raised her better than that,“ Ron grins, which makes Ginny shoot him a dirty look.

„You didn't raise me, Ronald. If you had, I would probably still believe that doing magic with a broken wand is a good idea.“

„It's not like I'd have had several spare wands at hand back then.“

„I wish I could have seen you spitting slugs. It would have been under the top ten highlights of my life,“ Ginny says dreamily.

Draco smiles smugly. „It was quite an amusing sight, that is for certain.“

Ron shoots him a warning look. „Don't start with that, or I'll reminisce a little on how you look with white fur.“

Draco flinches. „Touché. I didn't know your wand was broken then though.“

Ron grins. „Yeah, if it hadn't been, you would have been the one spitting slugs.“

„I highly doubt that.“

Harry is smiling broadly. This is going so much better than he feared it might.

„Where's Hermoine?“ Ginny asks Ron.

„She had to work today,“ Draco says in his stead.

„Poor girl.“ Ginny turns to Harry.

„How's life at the headquarters? I imagine quite busy at the moment.“

Harry groans. „That's the understatement of the year. I'm drowning in work. Sam and I contemplate at least three times every day if you can die from a caffeine overdose.“

Ginny hums and puts a hand on his arm for comfort.

„We'll get through,“ he shrugs and smiles at her. „What about you? Are you flying again?“ He can't help but feel a tiny bit guilty since it was his team discovering that her coach was involved in illicit affairs.

Ginny sighs. „Yes, but... the damage is severe. It'll take a while until it all blows over.“

„But she's training all the time,“ Luna says, sounding proud. „She's better than ever.“

„We should play again some time,“ Harry says to Ginny.

The ginger grins. „If you want to get your ass kicked, for sure. I'm so down.“

„We'll see about that.“

They go to greet Molly in the kitchen. While the others go first, Harry catches Draco's disapproving look.

„I thought _we_ wanted to play Quidditch,“ the blond says.

Harry raises his brows in surprise, then grins. „Sure. I'd like to.“

„No, you should play with Gin. I'll watch her wipe the court with your ass.“

Harry's grin only grows wider. „You're so cute when you're jealous.“

Draco huffs. „I'm not jealous, Potter.“

„You so are. It's adorable.“

„And I'm surely not adorable.“

Harry draws him in and kisses him. „So adorable.“

Draco rolls his eyes.

Harry is pleasantly surprised how warmly Molly is greeting Draco.

„I've heard so much about you, dear,“ she says to him, smiling.

„Really?“ Draco says.

Ron rolls his eyes. „Yeah, well. Harry talks about you all the bloody time.“

Draco looks at him and Harry feels his cheeks warm. „Do you, Potter?“

„Ron is exaggerating.“

„I'm not at all. It's annoying.“

Draco smiles. „I think I rather like it.“

Things go downhill for a bit when George arrives. He takes one look at Draco and his face hardens. „For real, Harry? I was still hoping Ron might be joking.“

„Ay,“ Ron says, shooting George a warning look.

To Harry's surprise, Draco pushes Harry's arm away and takes a step toward George. „I understand if you hate me. But I still need to tell you that I'm deeply sorry for your loss.“

George stares at him. „I don't care if you're sorry, Malfoy.“

„That's enough,“ Harry says sharply. He understands that George doesn't like Draco and he doesn't expect him to be nice, but he won't let him insult or antagonize his boyfriend.

„I thought you'd be smarter than that,“ George tells Harry right out and it's so blunt, so honest, it's not that easy for Harry to be mad at him.

„I trust Draco with my life,“ Harry tells him and he can feel Draco's silver gaze on him. He wonders if Draco would say the same about him.

„Then you're fucking stupid,“ George says.

Before Harry can answer, Hermoine steps forward. She's just flooed in, still wearing her work-clothes. „I trust Draco as well. And unlike you, George, I know him. We've been working together for more than two years now and he's my friend. So don't insult him. I won't have it.“

Everyone's stunned, staring at Hermoine with their jaws on the floor. Harry knew that Hermoine has forgiven Draco for bullying her when they were kids, but he didn't quite realize that she actually likes the Slytherin. It warms Harry's heart.

George looks at her as if she'd betrayed him. After that, things are a little tense for a while, but eventually, Bill manages to lighten the mood by telling some stories about fatherhood. Little Victoire is 18 months old now and keeping her parents busy.

The dinner itself is loud and cheery and Harry can feel that Draco isn't completely at ease. The blond isn't a huge fan of groups, at least when he doesn't know the people well. Under the table, Harry takes his hand.

Draco smiles at his chocolate pudding.

They leave when it's already pitch black outside, taking half an hour to say everyone goodbye.

Ginny hugs Harry like she hasn't in years, the alcohol loosening her tongue as she tells him how glad she is they're finally talking again.

„You two should come over some time,“ she says earnestly, looking at Draco. „Luna is a great cook. Most of the time. Sometimes she sets the kitchen on fire.“

Draco raises an amused brow and smiles. „We'll think about it.“

Draco is exhausted when Harry and he get back to Grimmauld. Exhausted, but quite content too. He thinks he's done an okay job today with Harry's surrogate family. The only one who really hates him is George. Arthur Weasly isn't his biggest fan either, but the rest of the Weasley clan seems to be able to stand him.

„So? How bad was it?“ Harry looks at him, a little anxiously.

Draco smiles and is suddenly overtaken by a surge of affection for this stupid Gryffindor. This stupid Gryffindor who trusts Draco.

He comes closer and wraps his arms around Harry's neck. „It was good. Wasn't it?“

Harry smiles widely, clearly relieved. His arms wrap around Draco's waist naturally. „Yeah. Better than I expected, to be honest. I'm just sorry about George.“

Draco shakes his head. „It's okay. I understand.“

„It's still not right.“

Draco kisses him because he doesn't want to talk about sad things right now. And maybe also just because he really wants to kiss Harry. They stand there forever, wrapped around each other, lost in the kiss that none of them wants to break.

When Draco does draw back, a tenderness in his chest makes him feel vulnerable and strong at the same time.

„Harry?“

„Yes?“ The Gryffindor seems a little out of it, green eyes dark with want.

„I'm not drunk.“

„Me neither.“

„So... I was thinking.“

Draco can feel Harry hold his breath and smiles.

„You were thinking?“

„That we could try something new tonight.“ He swallows and makes himself look into Harry's eyes.

„Like what?“

Draco bites his lip. „Like you fucking me.“

He's been trying to come up with a more romantic way to say it, but he didn't find one.

Harry's eyes darken even further and he pulls Draco closer, their bodies almost merging into one. „Yes. Fuck, yes.“

Draco smiles and kisses him again.

Their hands are rather frantic as they undress, almost clumsy, and Draco is starting to think that this won't last very long. Which is fine with him. He doesn't know if he can last long right now anyway.

But then, when all clothes are shed, they slow down. Harry is hovering over him, kissing him until Draco's lips are sore, his hands running all over his body. Draco bites Harry's lip, then smiles at him.

„We've got plans, remember?“

Harry grins. „Right.“

After one last kiss, he gets to work.

They've done this so often by now that Draco isn't nervous anymore. He loves when Harry fingers him. He's so good at finding the right spot, making Draco moan, no chance of holding back.

So very good in fact that Draco is completely undone before they've even got into it.

„Are you ready?“ Harry asks, his voice breathy and Draco nods, having trouble looking at Harry once again.

„Hey,“ the Gryffindor says, one hand smoothing down Draco's slightly damp hair.

„Are you sure?“

Draco looks back into those eyes that he adores so much, it sometimes hurts to look at them.

„Yes. I want this. I want you,“ he says, hoping that Harry understands how much he means it.

„Okay.“

Draco's heart is pounding so hard, it threatens to jump out of his chest as Harry lines himself up. Draco can't breathe.

And yet, despite his nerves, he wants this. He had no idea how much he could want this.

That doesn't prevent it from hurting though. Draco is familiar with the pain and knows how to breathe, yet, with Harry, it's different. Draco's more nervous and Harry is looking at his face.

„You okay?“

Draco nods, gripping Harry's shoulder. „Yes.“

It takes a while. Maybe because Draco hasn't done this in so long. Or maybe because Harry always stops when he sees Draco's face twisting. But in the end, they get there and for a moment, they're just breathing, faces so close, they're sharing the same air. Draco can feel Harry trembling and his heart is aching and overflowing with feelings.

It takes him a moment to realize that Harry is waiting for him to give his okay.

„You can move,“ he says, feeling a little stupid, but Harry moans and interlaces their fingers.

It's so different from what Draco's used to. Harry is looking at his face, saying his name, his fingers twitching in Draco's. His right hand is gripping Draco's hip tightly, then moves up.

„Lift your legs a bit, love,“ he says and Draco sees stars.

He's holding his breath, nails digging into Harry's skin.

„You're so good, Draco,“ Harry is panting into his ear and Draco removes one arm from Harry's back to bite down on it.

„How you feel,“ Harry says and Draco's eyes roll back. He tightens his legs around Harry's waist.

Draco comes first, with Harry's hand on him, Harry's name caught in his throat, on his lips. The Gryffindor follows him only moments after and it's the most erotic sight of Draco's life.

„Merlin,“ Harry says, catching his breath, then gently pulling out and sliding off of Draco. He turns to his side and Draco feels those green eyes on him.

„Hey,“ the Gryffindor says softly, tugging on Draco's hand.

Draco looks at him. He's not sure he's able to speak. Now, concern is clouding Harry's features and it makes Draco's throat grow tight. He's fighting so hard not to embarrass himself.

„Draco?“ There is almost panic in Harry's voice now as the Gryffindor props himself up, trying to get a good look at Draco's face.

Draco hides it under his arm. He can't help himself.

„Draco,“ Harry says and gently pulls Draco's arm away. „Please, talk to me.“

Tears are running down Draco's cheeks. Horror is clouding Harry's features.

„Fuck. Did I hurt you? Draco?“ His voice is pleading now and he looks so young in his worry.

„No,“ Draco says, voice hoarse. „Sorry. I don't know why I'm crying.“

„It's okay. We don't have to do it again. I'm so sorry.“ His eyes are searching Draco's face and his fingers around Draco's hand are tight.

„No, I... it was -“

Draco doesn't know how to say it.

„Yeah?“

He tries for a smile. „Perfect.“

Harry looks at him with something like cautious happiness. „For real? If it wasn't, you can tell me.“

„It was. Honestly. I'm just... not used to this.“

Finally, Harry seems to understand. That's great, because Draco really doesn't.

Harry leans down to kiss him. Then, his face grows very soft and very serious.

„I love you, Draco Malfoy.“

Draco's breath catches in his throat. Harry's fingers trail over his face.

Suddenly, Draco feels something cold and sticky between his thighs and curses himself for not having his wand here. He's way too shaken for wandless magic right now.

„Um, Harry?“

„Yes?“

„I'm... messing up the sheets.“

Harry continues to stroke his face unbothered.

„I'll clean it up later. Just one more moment.“


	4. Chapter 4

„Okay, what is up with you? You're glowing,“ Pansy tells Draco as he continues smiling while helping her chop up carrots for the vegetable curry they're cooking.

„Yeah, Draco. Do tell.“ Blaise grins over at them, pouring wine in three elegant glasses.

Draco bites his lip. Part of him wants to keep this to himself, like a glowing secret. But the urge to scream it from the rooftops is too strong in the end.

„I've had sex with Harry. Like... you know.“

Pansy's eyes widen. „How was it?“

Draco smiles even wider now, feeling like a fool, but not caring. „Good. Really... really good.“ He takes a breath and glances at Pansy, then back at the carrots.  
„He told me he loves me.“

„Oh, Draco. That is amazing,“ Pansy says and Draco is hugged sideways, awkwardly holding the knife away from his body, smiling at Pansy.

„Okay, okay.“

„I thought you've two been fucking for weeks already,“ Blaise says, a little irritatedly.

Draco shrugs. He doesn't really want to talk about this with Blaise. He knows that for his friend, this isn't a big deal at all.

„We've done other things.“

„Yes, Blaise. Not everyone is as unimaginative as you.“

Draco snickers and Blaise rolls his eyes.

„I believe Samantha would beg to differ.“

It surprises Draco a little that Pansy tenses next to him.

„Why are you still calling her Samantha when you two are sleeping together?“ she asks, not looking at Blaise.

Draco's friend shrugs. „I don't know. She seems like a Samantha to me.“

With a smile, Draco looks over his shoulder at Blaise.

„Are you dating now?“

Blaise hesitates. „I'm not quite sure. But it's more than sex.“

It's been a long time since Draco has heard this from Blaise. „So you like her?“

Blaise hands him a glass of white wine. „I mean, I definitely like her. I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm in love with her. Yet.“

Pansy rolls her eyes for some reason and throws the chopped carrots into the wok. „Whatever. Draco, love, I'm so happy for you,“ Pansy says and Draco knows that she's genuine. No matter how good of friends Slytherins make, they usually have a hard time being happy for their loved ones when they're not succeeding themselves. In other words, Pansy truly being happy for Draco means the world to him.

„Thanks, darling,“ he says.

„But I think I might have embarassaed myself,“ he says, when Blaise has left the room.

„Why?“ Pansy looks pretty with her sharp eyeliner and the subtle lipstick. Rose really is a lucky girl.

„I've... started crying afterwards.“ Draco's cheeks heat and he cringes at the memory. It's really a talent of his to fuck good things up.

„Why? Not because he hurt you, right?“

„No, he didn't. He was... really sweet. It was just, I don't know. So many emotions.“ Draco grimaces. „Merlin, I sound like a teenaged girl.“

Pansy smiles. „You do. But that's okay. I'm so glad you finally found someone who respects you and cherishes you the way you deserve, Draco.“

„It still seems unreal,“ he admits. Harry loves him. At least that's what he said. It seems impossible.

„I know. But it _is_ real. So don't overthink it, okay?“

„You know I overthink everything.“

„That's why I tell you.“

Draco takes a sip from the sweet wine, allowing himself to feel happy for a moment. Even if the thing with Harry will blow over and leave him heartbroken, it will have been worth it, Draco decides.

„What about you?“ he then asks. „Still trouble with Rose?“

Pansy sighs deeply and chugs half the glass of wine in one go. „I don't even know anymore.“

Pansy startles when the flames of the fireplace turn green. She isn't expecting anyone.

„Are you free right now?“ Sam asks with a rueful smile as she stumbles into Pansy's living room.

„Sure,“ Pansy says, not quite certain whether she's happy about this. It's late on a work night and she's wearing a faded Weird Sisters tee with no bra and ugly sweatpants that make her legs look like tree trunks.

„Is there anything special you wanted to talk about?“ Pansy asks as Sam sits on her couch, drawing her legs up.

Unlike Pansy, Sam looks polished and pretty. She's wearing makeup and the red lipstick fits her skin tone perfectly. The tight top accentuates her lean, strong torso. Despite not having very feminine curves, Sam's athletic figure bears its own kind of grace and sensuality, Pansy thinks.

„I think Blaise and I might be dating,“ the Slytherin says, grinning broadly.

Pansy swallows and ignores the weird sinking feeling in her chest. It's uncalled for. „I'm happy for you,“ Pansy says and realizes in the same moment that she is lying.

Sam seems to pick up on something, because her expression sobers. „Is that weird for you? I know he's your ex.“

Pansy blinks then flaps her hand and laughs a little. „Oh, no. That's fine, we've been over forever ago. Blaise is... an interesting mind and dead sexy, but he's not for me.“

Sam nods. Pansy wonders if she's so dressed up because she's coming from a date with Blaise.

„And you're with Rose now.“

Pansy turns her head to the side and tugs at some loose threads on her sweatpants. „Actually, I've broken up with her.“

„Shit. I'm sorry.“

„It's fine.“ Pansy knows it says a lot about their relationship that this is not a lie. Of course, sometimes, Pansy feels irritated, even sad and lonely when she thinks about Rose, but she's not broken-hearted. It has been a relationship of convenience, she realizes now.

„You didn't even tell me,“ Sam says, the hint of an accusation in her voice.

„I was going to,“ Pansy says.

Sam looks at her, with eyes even darker than Pansy's own. „We haven't talked that much, lately.“

„Yeah. Things are so busy at work,“ Pansy says but deep down, she knows that isn't the reason.

„They really are,“ Sam sighs. „But back to you. Why did you break up?“

Pansy shrugs, not sure she wants to talk about it. „Things just weren't going well. I wasn't in love with her, I realized.“

Sam pushes a strand of long hair behind her ear. „What is it like, being with a girl? Compared to being with a man.“

The question takes Pansy by surprise and she looks at Sam apprehensively. „It's... I don't know. Not as different as you'd think it be. Girls tend to need more attention, in my experience. They also are more attentive, so that's a good thing. But women are more complicated than men in many ways.“

„Really? I always thought that it would be much easier for lesbian couples to communicate.“

Pansy hesitates. „It can be. But it depends on the girl, doesn't it?“

Sam smiles. „I guess. We'd be a great couple. I mean, we're basically able to read each other's mind.“

Pansy has to swallow, her throat suddenly tight. A shy smile is tugging at the corners of her mouth. „We probably would be.“

Sam grins. „Too bad you're lacking some of the necessary equipment for me.“

It's like a punch in the stomach. Pansy didn't expect the comment to sting this much. She turns her head away. „I'm actually pretty tired,“ she says.

Sam blinks, apparently taken by surprise. „Oh. Yes, I understand. I'll get going then.“

„Yeah.“ Pansy doesn't look at her as she's putting on her shoes, throwing glances at Pansy.

„I'll see you soon?“

Pansy gives her a non-commital smiles. „Yeah. Goodnight.“

Only when Sam has left, Pansy allows her face to fall. Her heart is pounding in her chest and she feels doomed. This is bad.

Sam and her are friends. _Just_ friends. Good friends. The last thing Pansy wants to do is fuck this up. And yet, she can't help herself.

Pansy might be a good liar, but even she has a hard time ignoring the fact that she's not thinking about Sam in a strictly friendly way.

„Fuck,“ Pansy says into the silent room.

Crushes on straight girls are the stupidest thing ever. Pansy is proud to say she'd never really had one – none that lived longer than a few days. She always thought herself too rational for that.

And yet here she is, trying to pretend she's not falling for her best girlfriend.

_Look over your shoulder_ , Draco's cup of coffee says this time and Draco is really starting to get fed up. He's on his way back from the coffee shop he was writing at, his head still mostly in his story.

„Your lines are getting old,“ Draco tells the cup. Derek is apparently running out of ideas to scare him. Draco doesn't even flinch anymore and he doesn't turn around.

At least not until there is a hand on his shoulder.

Draco yelps and spins. No one is standing behind him. There is only an elderly muggle couple that looks at him bemusedly from a few yards away, waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

And yet, Draco is sure he didn't just imagine that.

Someone put a hand on his shoulder.

Draco's heart is pounding and he keeps throwing glances over his shoulder on his way to Grimmauld Place.

Harry isn't there yet when Draco arrives and the Slytherin is thankful for some more moments to compose himself. He knows that the second someone would side-along him or bring him somewhere Draco doesn't usually go, at least five Aurors are going to appear at his side. There is no reason to be scared.

Draco takes a deep breath and puts his hair into a high ponytail. It's just long enough now to fit and he finds it a convenient way to get it out of his face.

Over the months they've been together, Draco has learned that Harry is a decent cook – but absolutely resents cooking. Draco, on the other hand, quite likes it. It's not the same as brewing potions, but there is a resemblance. Cooking is the easier version. He can let his mind wander while his hands are busy. Sometimes he even sings along to some muggle songs when he's in the kitchen (and no one is around to hear him). Today, he just puts on music, not quite wanting to sing along, but happy about the noise chasing the silence away.

As he prepares some stuffed bellpeppers, the tension starts to slowly seep out of his body. When an arm snakes around him from behind, Draco drops the knife he was holding on the counter and hits his knee because he flinches so badly.

„Hey, sorry.“ Harry immediately removes his arm and steps aside, Draco's pulse only slowly normalizing as he looks at the Gryffindor.

Of course it's Harry. Who else would it be?

Draco swallows and tries to shake his fear. „It's okay.“

Harry smiles cautiously. „Sure?“

Draco nods and forces himself to exhale. „Yeah. I'm cooking dinner.“

„I see.“ Harry smiles and leans forward until Draco tilts his chin up and gives him a kiss. „I like the ponytail,“ Harry says while putting his coat on a hanger.

„It's practical,“ Draco just says.

„And pretty too.“

The Slytherin hides his smile from Harry.

While they're eating, Harry tells Draco a little about his day and Draco feels himself relax more and more. Still, he has to ask, even though he knows Harry'd already told him if there was any news.

„You... still haven't found Derek, right?“

Harry's face darkens. „No, I'm sorry. But we will.“

Draco nods. „I know.“

Harry watches him closely. „You haven't... heard anything from him, have you?“

Draco keeps his face neutral. He hates lying to Harry. But still... he doesn't want the Gryffindor to do anything stupid. „No.“

After dinner, Draco curls up on the couch with a book, but finds himself unable to focus. Harry is sitting next to him, going through some files, his glasses slowly descending down the bridge of his nose.

Draco watches him.

Harry doesn't know it, but he's beautiful in a natural, rugged way. His always messy hair falls over his forehead and makes Draco want to run his hands through it. The shape of his mouth is perfect – his lips full and kissable, but not so much so they're losing the sharp outlines. His nose has a little bump on it and Draco loves touching it. But the most striking part of Harry's face is unarguably his eyes. They're so bright and piercing, Draco could get lost in them for hours.

Impulsively, Draco sits up straighter and leans over, plugging the files from Harry's hands and then taking his glasses off for him. The Gryffindor blinks at him, then smiles when Draco climbs on his lap.

„Hey you,“ he says and Draco's chest warms at Harry's slight, painfully adorable awkwardness. Most people expect the Chosen One to be confident, maybe almost arrogant. But Draco knows better. Harry is sweet and gentle and awkward and Draco loves him so much more for it.

He kisses him and the Gryffindor's hands find Draco's hips, pulling him closer. He really seems to like that particular place, just below the sharp jut of the blond's hipbone and Draco finds he quite likes it too.

He sucks bruises into the golden skin of Harry's throat. Draco had always had a thing for that, but Derek wasn't really into it. Harry is, judging by how he bares his throat and grips Draco even tighter. His hands come up and he pulls the tie from Draco's hair so that it falls around his face while they're kissing.

When Harry's hands are timidly starting to tug on the hem of Draco's shirt, he helps him take it off.

It's only when Harry pushes him out of his lap and pulls his pants down for him that some nerves are flaring in Draco again. He steps out of his pants that are pooling around his ankles and suddenly doesn't know what to do next.

When Harry stands too, Draco can't help but take a step back, intimidated. His gaze flicks to the armrest of the couch. He's been bent over it by someone else but Harry a lot and, suddenly, standing there naked in front of the Gryffindor, Draco realizes he doesn't want that. At all.

Harry's hands on his own fly pause.

„Draco?“ The blond looks up at Harry, swallowing. „Everything okay?“

Draco nods and Harry pushes his own pants down. The sight of his naked body distracts Draco for a moment.

He knows that Pansy wouldn't be that impressed (he knows her type very well), but Draco is smitten with every inch of Harry. The brunet is strong in a subtle way, hinted by the solidity of his torso, the width of his shoulders and thighs. His stomach is flat, but there is only the faintest hint of abs. Everything about Harry is so... pristine in a way. Functional, but in the very best sense of the word. There are no pumped up arms like Derek had. Around Harry's hips, there is some softness, unlike Draco's own sharp, boyish hips.

„You make me nervous,“ Harry says and Draco blinks, looking at his face.

He's surprised to see a faint blush on Harry's cheeks.

„Why?“

„When you look at me like that.“

„I like the way you look.“

Harry tilts his head and smiles.

„I'm glad. Becaue you're so gorgeous, it makes me insecure.“

Sometimes, Draco really doesn't get Harry. The Slytherin looks like a boy, he thinks. Too skinny and pale.

Draco steps forward and kisses Harry, a little shyly.

The Gryffindor wraps his arms around him and pulls him back and Draco's heart is now pounding with anxiety again. Before Harry can see it in his eyes, Draco turns in his arms. He's not sure, but he thinks Harry might be surprised.

The next moment though, the Gryffindor is kissing his throat, hands pulling him closer. Draco can feel how hard Harry is.

He tries to relax against Harry, but his heart won't stop pounding. The hands on his hips could suddenly belong to anyone. Draco finds himself staring straight ahead, stilling as Harry walks him to the armrest. When Draco's thighs hit the piece of furniture, he bites down on his lip.

His heart is racing in his chest now and he can feel the Gyffindor hesitate. Draco seizes the opportunity and turns his head, one arm coming up so his hand can grip Harry's.

„Can we not...“ His words die in his throat.

Harry steps back a little, then tugs on Draco's hand until they're facing each other. „Not...?“

„Not like this. Please?“ Draco's looking up at Harry, anxiety coming off of him in waves, he knows that and he knows he's ruining the mood again and he doesn't want to, but he can't help it.

Harry smiles at him though. „Sure. Come here.“

The Gryffindor sits on the couch again and tugs on Draco's hand until he's back on his lap, his knees bracketing the Gryffindor's thighs.

„Like this?“

Draco swallows, anticipation, arousal and anxiety fighting in his chest for dominance.

 _I haven't done it like this before_ , he wants to say.

He just nods.

For a while, Draco isn't thinking at all. Not when Harry is slowly opening him up, whispering things into Draco's ear that make the Slytherin blush and squirm. The Gryffindor starts so slowly, only petting at Draco's entrance, allowing the anxiety to seep out of the blond's body, replacing it with sweet desire.

But then, when Harry's fingers pull out and it's Draco's turn to take action, he has to think again.

Harry seems to sense his insecurity and guides his hips with his hands, suddenly very sure of himself. It surprises Draco how much more difficult it is in this position and he almost starts to panic at how long he's taking, but Harry just grins, his hands stroking Draco's thighs. „No rush. We've got all night.“

It's strange at first. Draco's not used to having to do all the work and he's not sure if he's doing it right, but then, Harry starts moaning, his hands gripping Draco's hips hard enough to bruise and with that, Draco's unsureness vanishes and desire is buliding inside him, making him move with purpose. It's incredible, watching Harry coming undone beneath him.

When Draco's thighs are starting to shake from the effort, Harry helps with his hands on Draco and starts thrusting up to meet him.

Draco lets his head fall back and gives control over to the Gryffindor moaning his name.

Face contorted with pleasure, Harry comes inside of him and Draco shudders at the feeling, looking at Harry, taking in the sight. Harry is holding Draco tightly while he's coming down from his high and Draco doesn't think he's ever felt anything this intensely. For a while Harry is just stroking Draco's sides, catching his breath and allowing Draco to kiss every square inch of his face.

„You didn't come,“ he says so suddenly that Draco startles.

„It's fine,“ Draco says, truly meaning it. He's perfectly content just watching Harry. But Harry won't have it and starts stroking Draco, his other hand sneaking between his thighs, back and up until he's finger-fucking him and it takes Draco less than a minute to come.

They're lying entangled for a while, Draco listening to Harry's heartbeat, until the sticky feeling between his thighs is starting to become really gross.

„I need a shower,“ he says, mentally preparing himself for getting up.

„Okay,“ Harry says, kissing him, smoothing his hair down, before releasing Draco out of his grip.

The Slytherin hesitates. Then he asks, timidly: „Do you want to join me?“

Harry tries to appear completely casual as he follows Draco into the bathroom and yet, he knows that this is important. Maybe it's a little stupid – Draco has sneaked into the shower with Harry more than once. But this is different. This is Draco asking Harry, after having locked the door every single time he'd been in this very room.

Harry knows that this is a display of trust and he is determined not to fuck it up.

Draco smiles at him as Harry turns on the tab, looking at his boyfriend.

In Harry's experience, shared showers are in reality much less romantic than in theory. The stream really isn't broad enough for two and one is always cold. Ginny and him used to laugh at each other and always ended up taking turns showering.

But with Draco... even though Harry is cold, watching Draco under the hot water is worth it. Not for the first time, Harry wonders how in hell he got this lucky. There is something so etheral about Draco, almost otherworldly. With his hair and eyes and flawless body, he really looks like an angel. Or an elve, maybe. Harry on the other hand... it's not like he'd hate the way he looks. Mostly, he doesn't think about it. But watching his boyfriend, he definitely doesn't feel like he measures up. He felt like coming up short next to Ginny, and now, compared to Draco, Harry feels like he's out of his league.

And yet, Draco doesn't seem to share that feeling.

When Harry reaches for the shampoo bottle, Draco's fingers curl around Harry's wrist.

„Can I?“

Harry grins. „You want to wash my hair? That's definitely proof you're completely gone for me, Malfoy.“

Draco gives him a haughty look and snatches the bottle from Harry's hands. „No, it's proof for how atrocious your hair always looks.“

Harry smiles while Draco reaches up and starts shampooing Harry's thick locks, a faint frown of concentration on his forehead. „You like my hair.“

Draco doesn't dignify this statement with an answer.

„Draco?“

„Hm.“ Harry wipes some foam off his forehead. „Can I ask you something?“

The blond looks at him warily. „I already know I won't like it, but you can ask.“

Harry looks at the blond's face, not sure how to ask. Not sure if he should. „I just... want you to know you can talk to me about anything. Anything, really,“ he ends up saying. He's not sure if he's just being a coward or being sensitive by not asking what he actually wanted to.

Draco raises one arched eyebrow. „That's not a question, but a statement, Potter.“

Harry rolls his eyes. Then sobers again. He reaches up and pushes a strand of blond, silky hair out of Draco's face. Wet like this, his hair is darker, more like a honey blond.

„It helps to talk about things that hurt you.“

„Sometimes.“

Harry can't really argue. He himself isn't really one for spilling his guts all the time. Draco sighs and averts his gaze, but doesn't back away.

„Why do you think I'm hurting?“ he says, quietly.

Harry swallows. „I know what a complete asshole Derek is, Draco. And I know you.“

At first, Harry thinks Draco won't say any more to that and it's fine. He knows the blond will talk when he's ready to.

„I always lock the bathroom door, because... when the Death Eaters were going in and out of the Manor on the regular, there were some, who – liked to intimidate me.“

„Intimidate you how?“ Harry asks when Draco doesn't continue.

„Mostly just say things to me. What they'd... like to do. About me being gay and just all the filth they could come up with, really. But sometimes, they'd touch me too. Not really, they never hurt me. They were too afraid of Severus to do that. But it was enough to make me feel unsafe in my own house. Especially after the one time Rudolphus watched me change. I didn't notice him open the bathroom door a smidge and he watched me and... since then, I'm always paranoid someone might come in.“

Draco pauses, still not looking at Harry.

The familiar pain he always feels around Draco these days intensifies in Harry's chest, taking his breath away. He wants to say something, wants to hold Draco. Wants to make it better. And yet, Harry knows there is nothing he can do but listen.

The blond takes a breath and Harry is amazed how calm he is. „That's why I used to lock the door at Derek's too. It really wasn't about him, at first. But it made him angry. He took it as me wanting to keep him out. Which, I guess, was true,“ Draco concedes, frowning a little. „He only came in when I was in the bathroom once or twice and it wasn't like... nothing bad happened, but still. I couldn't take a fucking shower anymore without being completely anxious and paranoid.“

Now Draco meets Harry's gaze. „Do you think I'm crazy?“

Harry swallows, tries to breathe through the tightness of his throat. „No. Not at all. I think bad things happened to you.“

Draco looks at Harry's collarbones, tracing them with his fingertip. Harry stays perfectly still, hardly daring to breathe. „I often feel... over-sensitive. Weak. Because I know so many people who've gone through much worse than I have and they are still standing. And I'm unable to cope with having my ass grabbed as a teenager sometimes.“ He looks up again. „Isn't that something everyone goes through?“

Harry frowns and takes Draco's hand. „No, it's not. And even if many people have to suffer through stuff like that, it doesn't mean it won't affect you. Also, Draco... you've gone through more than just unwanted grabbing.“

Draco looks away again, his fingers twitching. „And it's okay if you don't want to talk to me about it. Yet. I just... I wish you would, to be honest. I'm always afraid I'll do something wrong, something that will trigger or hurt you. I think sometimes I do.“

Draco's gray eyes are tender and full of pain when he looks back at Harry. „Please don't put anything of that crap on you, Harry. It's all me.“

„No. It's all the assholes that hurt you before. And...“ Harry isn't sure how to voice his feelings. „It doesn't matter why you feel a certain way. You just do. And I have to make sure I respect your feelings and boundaries. So, knowing them is important to me.“

Draco looks at him for a long time. „I don't know what to say,“ he finally says and Harry tries his very best not to be disappointed.

„It's okay.“ He presses a kiss to Draco's forehead.

„We'll get there. You just talk to me when you're ready. Whenever you want.“

Draco kisses Harry with a devotion that makes Harry certain that this man owns his heart.

„How is it possible that you still haven't found anything?“

Pansy knows her voice has left the realm of friendly, but she doesn't care much. Potter is looking contrite and angry and worried. There are slight shadows under his eyes and Pansy realizes she hasn't seen him not clutching a cup of coffee in days.

„Look, I'm not working Derek's case. I wish I could, but they won't let me.“

Pansy knows that. And she knows she's being unfair by letting her anger and frustration out on Potter. But he's the safest object to do so, so he'll just have to cope.  
They're standing in Potter's office. Boot is sitting cross-legged on his chair, sucking on his quill and ruffling his hair every two seconds, staring at a report.

„As soon as I know something, I'll come straight to you,“ Potter tells her, green eyes earnest. Sometimes Pansy wonders if the Gryffindor is even capable of lying. He's such an open book.

„Alright.“ She's not happy about the situation by any means, but there's nothing to do about it.

Voices at the door make Pansy's head turn. Sam and Blaise are coming in, smiling at each other. Holding hands. Bile is rising in Pansy's throat and the sight is burning like acid through her skin, yet she can't tear her eyes away.

Sam sees her first and there is something like uncertainty flickering in her gaze. With a superhumanly effort, Pansy looks away, back to Potter.

„But are you sure the protection spells on Draco are working?“ she asks, mostly just to say something and not look at Blaise. Or Sam.

„I'm sure. Look, Parkinson, Draco's saftey is top priority for me too. I promise, I won't let anyone hurt him.“

It softens Pansy's heart just a little to see the determination in Potter's eyes. He means what he says.

Merlin, but this Gryffindor really is completely gone for Draco. Despite feeling the tiniest bit bitter about the happy love life of her best friend, there is no one who deserves it more than Draco. And no one Pansy would be happier for.

„I'll take your word for it,“ she says.

„Do that.“


	5. Chapter 5

„And what exactly are we looking for?“ Draco asks, wand raised. Hermoine is walking right in front of him, the tip of her wand glowing.

„Dark artefacts, mostly. But anything that might be interesting.“

„Flint lived here?“

„It's his family's house, yes. Of course, I doubt he left anything important behind, but you never know.“

„He didn't have much time to gather his bearings,“ Draco says, carefully looking around the large foyer. It reminds him a lot of Malfoy Manor, even though it's not as majestic or extensive.

„Is Flint married?“ Draco asks. He thinks he must be – his son had been in Draco's house afterall, even though he was older than him. Draco doesn't know what happened to him.

„He was. His wife divorced him five years back and moved to the US with their son.“

That explains it.

„She was never with him during gatherings. I always suspected she didn't agree with Flint's choices regarding the war.“

„I think so too.“

Hermoine doesn't look at Draco, but rather inspects a large chest, while asking: „Do you know anything about the conflict between Flint and your father?“

Draco hesitates. „Not really. My father never confided me in his political doings. I overheard them fight once though.“

„What was it about?“

„I think it was mostly concerning the Dark Lord and... who of them he favors. It was shortly after I – after I failed my mission and my father fell from grace. Lucius always was a valued asset to the Dark Lord before his fall. After his return, my father lost his importance and Flint, who proved to be as cruel as he is cunning, became more visible.“

„Sounds like he's a competitive character,“ Hermoine says.

„He sure is.“

Flint was also one of the many Death Eaters who found great enjoyment in scaring Draco. He used to creep up on him and startle him, or, sometimes, he'd like to pull him into dark hallways and whisper filth into his ear until Draco almost fainted from terror.

That's the kind of person Flint is.

„He's also a sadist,“ he tells Hermoine.

The witch throws him a quick glance. „Do you have any kind of personal relationship with him?“

Draco hesitates, thinks about it.

„I wouldn't say so. I mean, he liked pushing me around a little. But only when the opportunity arised. It's not like he'd... seek me out when it wasn't convenient.“

Hermoine nods thoughtfully.

They spend the next hour combing the grounds, but find nothing interesting. Either Flint has been thourough when he left here or he'd never stored any important things at the house to begin with.“

„What's that?“ Hermoine asks suddenly, motioning for Draco to come over.

They're in a small study with overflowing bookshelves and an ugly desk. Hermoine points at a piece of parchment (Flint is apparently oldschool like that – not unsual for purebloods, which is why Draco has banned parchment from his desk and flat years ago).

There is a grid drawn on it with several columns that all have a title.

„Those are all constellations,“ Draco says, frowning.

„The titles?“ Hermoine asks, before answering herself: „Yes, they are. Interesting.“

In the columns, there are little bars in three different colors. Like the count of something.

„It might be a game,“ Draco says.

„Looks like it is.“

„It's probably nothing important.“ But even as he says it, Draco isn't sure. It might not be. Something tells him it is though.

„Let's take it back to the Ministry,“ Hermoine says. „Run some checks to see if there are any spells or curses on it.“

„I'm going fucking crazy,“ Sam says as she drops into the last free chair – the chair between Pansy and Blaise that the dark-skinned Slytherin saved for her. Pansy almost wishes she'd sit somewhere else.

Potter, who is sitting across from them next to Draco, gives Sam a questioning look.

„Any particular reason for that statement?“

Sam impatiently pushes some loose strands back that escaped her plait. „Nothing makes sense about Flint's case. Even when we get something interesting, it doesn't help.“

Potter frowns and Pansy notices Draco biting his bottom lip. „We're not working Flint's case. Are we?“

Sam looks a little guilty. „I kind of am now. They needed backup, so...“

Blaise and her exchange a quick look before their gazes fly back to Potter, who seems on the verge of furious. „Why didn't they ask me?“

It's Blaise who answers, voice calm. „Because they know that you have a relationship with Derek that might hinder the investigation. And Flint and Derek are working as a team, so...“

Potter almost starts spitting fire at that. „I don't have a fucking relationship with Derek bloody Connor! I just hate him.“

Draco puts a calming hand on Potter's knee.

„That is a relationship of sorts,“ Sam says. „Look, Harry, if it was up to me, I'd let you work with us immediately. But I don't decide that and I... understand why Archer thinks it's not the best choice for you.“

Potter takes some deep breaths. „Well? What new evidence do you have?“

Sam's eyes flicker to Draco. „It's not evidence. And I'm... I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you. Draco?“

Draco ducks his head a little, before apparently thinking better of it and lifting his chin, looking Potter in the eyes. It makes Pansy's heart swell with pride. Merlin, how she loves this blond git.

„It's confidential, Harry. I'm sorry. You know the rules.“

Potter stares at him. „You know about this evidence?“

„It's really nothing. But yes. Hermoine and I found it.“

Green eyes blazing, Potter grits his teeth. „You found it. And you didn't tell me about it. Don't you trust me at all?“

Terry, who's been quiet up until now, looks between Potter and Draco, mouth hanging open. Sam's gaze meets Pansy's.

„You know this has nothing to do with trust,“ Draco says. „It's about rules I have to follow.“

„Well, I broke the rules for you when it was necessary,“ Potter snaps and Pansy shoots him a deadly glare. Sometimes, Potter is such a bloody chid.

Draco flinches back just a little. „That's not fair. I didn't ask you to do that.“

„Yeah, well. You never want me to do anything. You don't trust me, it seems like.“

„Harry...“ Draco's voice is quiet.

„You're being a ridiculous prick, Potter,“ Pansy tells him and Draco frowns at her, shaking his head lightly. Of course, he doesn't want her involved.

„I think I'm going to go home,“ Potter says, standing up abruptly.

„Don't leave, Harry.“ Draco is blinking up at him pleadingly and Pansy wants to slap Potter.

„I... just need some space. For now.“ With that, Potter is gone, leaving the rest of them in awkward silence.

To Pansy's surprise, Draco stays with them, even though he's clearly shaken by Potter's outburst. Potter's unjustfied outburst, to be clear.

It's not like Pansy doesn't understand that things can get frustrating with Draco. She knows better than anyone how he tends to shut the people who love him out, trying to build walls between him and everyone else that are hard to break through.

But Potter is a grown-ass man and should be able to handle things better.

„I just wonder if ends are ever going to meet in this case,“ Sam sighs after they've gone round in circles for quite a while. Blaise takes her hand and squeezes, smiling at her.

„They will. Like they always do eventually.“

Pansy wants to vomit. Suddenly, she can't stand watching this, not even one minute longer.

„I'll head out,“ she says.

When Draco returns to Grimmauld Place this night, Harry isn't there. Draco's heart is sinking and his annoyance-fear-worry mixture transforms into a full blown panic.

What if that's it? What if Harry has decided now that this isn't worth it afterall? That Draco isn't worth the trouble?

Draco wouldn't blame him at all, but he feels like he might die if Harry really would leave.

 _Don't be ridiculous_ , he chides himself. Of course he won't die. He's made it through worse than heartbreak. The world isn't ending if Harry dumps him.

Still, Draco can't make himself leave the house just yet. This might be the last time he's allowed in here and he wants to soak up every little detail. Grimmauld Place is so full of Harry's things that it makes Draco's heart ache.

There is change littered all over the little desk in the foyer, Harry's coats on the rack. The kitchen is as always stocked with toast and cans of soda because Harry can't live without those.

There is the couch with the ratty covers and one of Harry's jumpers carelessly thrown over the armrest. The couch on which Draco had sat on Harry's lap, watching the Gryffindor's face as he came inside Draco. The couch on which they'd had snuggled up together after work, too tired to talk.

Draco's eyes water and he blinks a few times to hold back the tears.

He startles when someone enters, loudly so, heavy footsteps on the wooden floor. Harry freezes when he sees Draco standing in the middle of his living room and Draco's blood turns to ice. He's aboslutely sure that Harry will throw him out now and he doesn't think he can survive the Gryffindor shouting at him or calling him names.

But Harry lets out a noise that sounds almost like a sob and comes flying toward Draco, so fast that Draco can't even flinch or worry before Harry hugs him, holding him too tight and not nearly tight enough.

Draco exhales and drops his head against the other man's shoulder.

„I thought you were gone,“ Harry says into Draco's hair and the Slytherin notices the slight slur to his words and the smell of alcohol coming from him. It makes him tense just a little. He's made very bad experiences with drunk men. Like, _very_ bad.

But right now, his relief that Harry apparently isn't going to leave him is too intense to get worked up too much about it.

„I was waiting for you,“ Draco says quietly. „You weren't here.“

„I was at Blaise's. I thought you'd be there. Then you weren't and I went to Parkinson's but she slammed the door in my face and told me I'm an idiot. Which I am.“

Harry draws back and when Draco looks into his eyes, he sees pain and remorse and drunkeness. „I'm so sorry, Draco. I didn't mean what I said. Of course you wouldn't tell me about evidence when the Ministry told you not to.“

Draco reaches out and touches Harry's face. „I understand why you were upset with me.“

Harry drops his forehead against Draco's. „That was stupid. Sometimes I get like Hermoine and can't stop sticking my nose into other people's business. At least when it's people I love. But it was wrong and I shouldn't put pressure on you and I'm sorry.“

If the subject wasn't so serious, Draco would grin at Harry's sloppy pronounciation and wide eyes. His heart clenches at the second mention of Harry that he'd love Draco.

„You're forgiven,“ Draco simply says and Harry sighs deeply.

Draco is unsure what do when Harry doesn't move, just keeps standing there, hugging Draco.

„I should probably go to bed,“ Harry says finally and Draco tries hard to push his anxiety down, shut it out. This is Harry. Harry wouldn't hurt him, drunk or not.

Draco helps Harry up the stairs and the Gryffindor just laughs when they stumble.

While Draco goes to the bathroom and changes, cleans his face and brushes his teeth (all while working to keep his nerves at bay), Harry doesn't bother with any of that. When Draco tiptoes back into the bedroom, Harry's eyes are closed.

Draco hesitates.

Maybe, if he'd just slip out of the door now, Harry wouldn't even remember it the next day. But... he looks so peaceful in his bed and part of Draco doesn't want to sleep in the guest room.

Just when he's about to finally move, Harry opens his eyes and flaps his hand uncoordinately.

„You coming?“

Draco bites his lip, then nods and slips under the covers, ignoring his hammering heart.

It's hard to tell for how long Draco is lying awake, tense in the darkness, waiting for wandering hands. Drunk men are even more shameless than sober ones and they don't give a fuck about how you feel about their groping, Draco has learned.

But nothing happens for so long that Draco thinks he can't take it any longer. Slowly, he props himself up on his elbows and peers at Gryffinor.

Only after a few minutes of staring at the brunet, Draco realizes Harry is already fast asleep.

Liking someone who's in a relationship is torture.

Having that someone as one of your closest friend makes it truly unbearable.

Pansy is trying. She is really, really trying to be a good friend and ignore her jealousy and attraction and want, but it's hard. In fact, it's not working. She can't look at Sam anymore without having this horrible pain in her chest. Without wanting to kiss her.

Without hating Blaise.

So Pansy starts avoiding both of them. At first, she actually gets away with it due to the Aurors still being swamped with work and Sam and Blaise both constantly being on the verge of a mental breakdown.

As usually, Draco is the first one to notice.

„Did something happen between you and Blaise?“ he asks cautiously when they're leaving the Ministry together after a tiring day.

„No. Why do you ask?“ Pansy says, avoiding Draco's gaze.

„I feel like you're avoiding him.“

Pansy looks straight ahead. What can she say?

„Is it because of Samantha?“

Shit. Pansy closes her eyes. Is she being that obvious?

„Maybe.“

Draco looks at her with compassion and a little surprise in his pale eyes. Pansy has always envied him for them. „I didn't realize it would bother you anymore. You two have been over for so long...“

Pansy blinks at him. It takes her a moment to realize what Draco is talking about. When she finally does, the blond's eyes go wide.

„You're not jealous of Samantha. You're jealous of _Blaise_.“

Pansy knows she's already given herself away. She grips Draco's arm. „Don't tell anyone,“ she says, voice sharp.

Draco nods. „I won't.“

She releases his arm and sighs. „Thank you.“

„Does Samantha know?“ Draco asks, his gray gaze still on Pansy.

She pushes her hair behind her ear. „I don't think so.“

„So you haven't told her.“

Pansy throws him a sharp look. „Of course I haven't told her. Merlin, Draco.“

With a shrug, the blond says: „You could tell her.“

„And why would I do that? I'm not a masochist.“

„I know, but... maybe it would change things.“

Pansy shakes her head, trying to fight that horrible, terrifying feeling that always comes with examining her situation all too closely.

„It wouldn't. Or, it would only make it worse. Sam doesn't even like girls.“

„You never know. I mean, I wouldn't have thought Harry likes men either.“

Pansy rolls her eyes, hating Draco for bringing up his famous boyfriend and perfect relationship. „Sam isn't Potter. And she told me she's straight.“

Seeing the pity in Draco's eyes is almost too much for Pansy.

„It's alright. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass.“

„But it must be hard to see her with Blaise.“

Pansy watches the strange faces of the passerby. „You have no fucking idea.“

„Guys, I've got bad news.“

Both Sam and Harry look up from the files they'd been looking at for almost an hour now, watching Terry standing over them, his blue eyes dark. Blaise is leaning in to hear the Ravenclaw out as well.

„Shoot. It can't really get any worse,“ Sam says, putting her hair up in a new ponytail.

„Yes, it can. We've got two deaths.“

Harry wants to drop his head on the desk and never look up again.

„Who did it?“ Blaise asks.

„We're not completely sure yet, but they don't think it was the same offender. At the moment, everything points at two of our wayward prisoners. One is most likely Flint.“

A small, very small spark of hope ignites in Harry's chest. „Couldn't it help us to catch him?“

Terry crushes the shy flame under heavy boots. „No. He's been very thorough. There is no evidence we can use.“

„Fuck,“ Harry says, his head hurting.

„Who are the victims?“ Sam asks.

„One is Jade Greengrass. She used to be a Death Eater, but rumor has it she turned at the end of the war. The other is Horace Slughorn.“

Harry and Blaise both stare at Terry.

„ _The_ Horace Slughorn?“ Blaise says, finding his voice first.

„Yup.“

„Jesus,“ Harry says, overwhelmed and tired and not knowing how to feel about this. It's not like he'd have particularly liked the cranky potions teacher and yet... Slughorn is one of them. He's been Harry's teacher for a year and now he's dead.

„Do we know why?“ Sam asks, clearly shaken as well.

Terry shrugs. „No. Archer says he thinks it's possible that there was no particular reason. Afterall, Flint isn't exactly known for his rationality. But the crime scene doesn't really fit the theory of a crime of passion.“

„Why not?“ Harry asks.

„The victims haven't been tortured or hurt or anything like that. As far as we can tell, the murder surprised them and killed them before they could even draw their wand.“

„That doesn't necessarily rules out a crime of passion,“ Blaise argues, face grim.

He's right. Especially in the wizarding world, it isn't always that easy to tell whether a crime has happened affectively or whether it has been planned. But Harry doesn't think these crimes have been of passion. More precisely, his gut tells him they haven't.

„No, it doesn't,“ Terry agrees with Blaise and rubs his temple as if it'd hurt. „The only thing we can be sure of is that those guys aren't newbies.“

„But we already knew that,“ Sam says, staring at her desk darkly.

„This is a fucking nightmare,“ Blaise says and Harry can only agree with him.

Pansy is currently on her way into the shower when the flames of the floo spark green. She has a pretty good idea who it might be and closes her eyes for a moment, the most contradictory emotions flaring in her chest.

She'd been right.

„Please kill me,“ Sam says as she steps into Pansy's living room.

„Work?“ Pansy asks, eyeing the other Slytherin.

„Mainly. It's also still weird to see Terry hanging out at my flat, but that's a whole other thing. I think at this rate, Harry'll go nuts before we get a chance to arrest anyone. Especially Flint or Derek, who are apparently fucking evil geniuses because whenever we think we've almost got them, they're gone again without leaving a trace. Like, how?“

Pansy bites her lip.

„I'm just worried for Draco,“ she says.

Sam lets her hair down and massages her scalp. „Me too. But this is not only about Draco. People have died because of Flint. We need to take action.“

„I'm sure you'll catch him.“

„Honestly? I'm not. We've got nothing so far. Nothing useful anyway.“

„You'll find something.“

„How do you know?“

Pansy shrugs. „I trust in you guys.“

Sam looks at her and says: „I wish I would too. I mean, I do. My team is brilliant, but it's about time things start to get moving. We're stuck and as long as we're stuck, people die.“

„I know. But all you can do is try.“

Sam looks at her. „Can I stay here for a while? I really need someone to talk to.“

Pansy bites her lip. „Why don't you go talk to Blaise?“

Sam frowns. „I'm seeing him all day at work.“

Pansy wants to tell her that she's sure Draco wouldn't be tired of Potter's face after one day of work together, but she bites her tongue.

„And I miss you, Pansy.“

Hearing Sam say this is almost too much for Pansy to take.

„Are you avoiding me?“ Sam asks, voice small.

Pansy swallows. This would be it. The moment to tell the truth. But in the end, she can't. There's too much on the line. Too much to lose.

„No, I'm just busy. As are you.“

She tries to smile without it seeming forced, but she's not sure Sam really buys it.

„Do you have some sweatpants for me?“ Sam asks. „Those jeans are killing me.“

Pansy's clothes look better on Sam than they do on her and Pansy wants to be mad about that, but she can't.

She knows she should politely tell Sam to leave as it gets later and later. This isn't good for her. It'll only hurt in the end.

But Pansy can't. She's just not strong enough.

Eventually, when they've talked so much their throats are sore, Sam leans against Pansy's shoulder and Pansy can't breathe. Sam's smell envelops her and makes her head fuzzy.

Pansy lets her stay like this until Sam grudgingly gets up, stretching her back and smiling at Pansy like a content cat. She keeps Pansy's sweatpants on when she leaves through the floo.

„I just can't help but feel like she's flirting,“ Pansy tells Draco the next day.  
Draco sits cross-legged on Pansy's carpet and frowns at her. „Are you sure?“

Pansy rolls her eyes and drops down across him, leaning against the couch.

„I mean, how can you ever be sure? But she kept my sweatpants. And she's always touching me. That means something, doesn't it?“

She doesn't like Draco's carful look at all. Like, _at all_ at all. „What?“

„I just... girls don't always mean those things the way one could interpret them, don't you think? I mean, you are always petting my hair and such too. And it doesn't mean you're flirting with me,“ Draco says and Pansy hates him so much for being right.

„It doesn't feel like that,“ she says, aware she's holding on to straws.

„I know. But it might just be wishful thinking.“

Pansy looks away. She doesn't want to believe that. Refuses to.

„I'm sorry. I know this is not what you want to hear, but... I think it might be better if you kept a little distance. If you don't, she'll just confuse you.“

„We're friends,“ Pansy says.

„That doesn't make it better.“

It's hard for Pansy, so very hard to admit that she simply can't stay away. She just can't. The pull is too strong to resist.

„I don't want you to get hurt,“ Draco says quietly.

„I know,“ Pansy says and she does know it. Draco always wants what is best for her. That makes it so much more painful to hear him say Pansy should give it up.

„I don't want to lose her as a friend,“ Pansy says, pulling at the threads of the carpet.

„That's why I think it might be better for you to create some distance. Just temporarily.“

„I can't, Draco. It would probably be smarter, but I just... can't.“

She doesn't look her friend in the eye. Seeing the pity there would hurt too much.

„Listen up, guys,“ Sam says, clearly agitated. Maybe even excited. „Look, we've found a pattern.“

Everyone perks up. Harry almost snaps his neck, Terry is just barely able to catch his stumbling mug of coffee and Blaise hits his knee against the table.

„There have been two new victims, which is tragic, of course, but helped us establish it. It seems like the Death Eaters are targetting Voldemort's enemies.“

„Voldemort is dead,“ Harry says.

„Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,“ Sam says, rolling her eyes. „But his followers aren't and neither are his enemies.“

Blaise frowns. „But how is that a pattern? Or a great revelation? I mean, it would have been weird if they'd attack their own people. And almost everyone is Voldemort's enemy now, right?“

Sam bites her lip. „Yeah, but I'm not talking about people who simply didn't support him. I'm talking about people who let him down. Betrayed him. Or maybe even played a special roll in his defeat. For example, Jade. She turned on him. A traitor. Then Slughorn. He's refused to join them many times and then, he fought against them at the Battle of Hogwarts.“

„What about the new victims?“ Harry asks.

„Well, one is Xenophilius Lovegood.“ Harry sucks in a sharp breath. „No.“

„Don't worry, don't worry. He's not dead. They hurt him pretty badly, but we arrived in time to save his life.“

Harry exhales in relief. He might not be particularly fond of the elder Lovegood, but he's Luna's father.

„But does Lovegood fit your pattern?“ Harry then asks, frowning. „He did help the Death Eaters.“

„Only after writing articles defying the Ministry's orders when it was led by Voldemort,“ Terry says. „And only because they blackmailed him,“ Sam adds. „I think he can still be counted as an enemy.“

„What about the second victim?“ Blaise asks.

„They aren't a hundred percent sure who it is yet, but everything points to Astoria Greengrass. Jade's daughter.“

They are all silent for a moment.

„Draco fits that pattern too, doesn't he?“ Harry asks, voice hoarse.

Sam looks at him. „I think he does.“

Harry stares at the smooth surface of his desk, almost completely buried under mountains of records and interviews.

„So not only Derek is after Draco, but also some murderous Death Eaters. That's just... great.“

Harry is pretty sure everyone in the room can tell he's working very hard to keep it together. Sam puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes.

„It might even be a good thing that Derek is still after Draco,“ Blaise says and Harry stares at him.

„How could that possibly be a good thing?“

The Slytherin looks at Harry intently. „Flint and Derek appear to be working together, right? I highly doubt that Derek wants Draco dead. Hurt him? Always. But he doesn't want Draco to die. I assume he and Flint made some kind of deal before they paired up and I just can't imagine that Derek would work with Flint if he'd try to kill Draco.“

Harry stares at Blaise without blinking. „That... actually makes a lot of sense.“

„Look, I don't want to burst you bubble or make you set things on fire again, but Draco is still in danger. Mortal danger, I think. It's not only Flint and Derek who might be after him. There are more people involved in this, more Death Eaters going after their enemies or who they consider an enemy.“

Sam exchanges a quick look with Terry while Harry concentrates on breathing evenly. It won't do to throw a fit in the headquarters,

„What is the ultimate goal?“ Harry muses. „Or is there even one?“

Blaise tilts his head, apparently thinking. But it's Terry who speaks first.

„I'm not sure there must be. Those people, they are doomed to live out the rest of their lives in jail anyway. Killing doesn't touch them anymore. I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that they're doing it for fun.“

It's Hermoine who proves some days later how right Terry is with his assumption.

„Everyone but Harry already knows this parchment Draco and I found at Flint's family house,“ she says, her and Draco sitting behind Archer's desk. The older Auror is only rarely with them, spending most of his time out there, actually chasing the escaped criminals. With mediocre success, as they all know.

„What is this?“ Harry asks, peering at the strange column.

„We didn't know at first and there is no way yet to actually prove it, but Draco and I are almost certain that it's... a game. A very macabre one.“

Harry looks at his boyfriend. Draco's face is shuttered.

„We think the constellations titling each column stand for a Death Eater. And the bars underneath for their victims.“

„That's sick,“ Sam says, staring at the parchment as if it might snap at her.

„Totally sick, but it sounds like it could be true,“ Blaise says, exchanging a look with Draco.

„What do the different colors mean?“ Harry asks.

Hermoine brushes her frizzy hair back. „Well, we're not sure yet. Draco?“

Draco frowns and Harry can see that he's resisting the urge to hide behind a curtain of blond hair. „I thought it might indicate different... statuses of the victims.“

„You mean that the victims' value might differ, in the eyes of the Death Eaters?“ Terry asks.

„Exactly. I'm not sure what they base their value on. Maybe the severity of the so-called crime or how difficult it might be to catch them.“

„I bet there must be a list of the people to catch somewhere, but we've searched Flint's house twice. If it exists, it's not there,“ Hermoine says, sounding frustrated.

„That would've been too good to be true,“ Sam says.

Harry and Draco exchange a look.

„Knowing this is good, but only such a list would really help us,“ Harry says.

„He's right. The number of eligible people ist still too high to protect anyone.“

It's the first time Harry has heard Blaise this frustrated, almost angry.

„Well, there is someone I think should be protected,“ Hermoine says and looks at Draco. Everyone else follows her example.

Draco rolls his eyes and straightens his shoulders. „I'm already under protection, Granger.“

Him using her lastname speaks volumes about his annoyance.

„I know. But you should be really careful, Draco. Those men are dangerous.“

Draco looks at her almost the way he did back in school and Harry can't blame him. „Thank you very much for this new insight. I'd never have thought.“

Hermoine seems to realize her mistake because she says: „You're right. Of course you know. But still, please be careful.“

Draco sighs. „I'm always careful.“

Blaise makes a noise, something like a high-pitched _Hmmm_ that suggests he disagrees.

„Do you have something to say, Blaise?“ Draco asks, voice sharp like a razor.

„I'd just kindly remind you that it took you almost two years to get away from Derek. So I'm not sure why you'd say you're always careful.“

„That's a completely different matter,“ Draco hisses.

„Is it though? It's the same guy chasing you. Who says you won't come running back into his arms? If it weren't for me, you'd probably still be with him, letting yourself get beat up whenever he feels like it.“

There is dead silence for a moment.

„We can't fight,“ Terry says loudly, preventing Draco from saying anything. Harry swallows down the words on his tongue. This is not the time or the place.

„We need to stick together. If we're fighting, we won't get anything done,“ the Ravenclaw says, voice sharper than Harry has ever heard it.

„Terry is right,“ Hermoine affirms him. „Let's get to work.“


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter y'all!

Draco knows that Harry hasn't forgotten Blaise's words from earlier when the two of them get back to Grimmauld Place. If Draco thinks about it, he's spending more nights at Harry's than his own place.

„Can we talk?“ Harry asks as soon as they've taken their coats off and Draco wants to say no. But he knows this voice, knows that he has to talk to Harry if he doesn't want the Gryffindor to be mad, maybe even send him away.

„Okay.“ Draco doesn't look at Harry, rather walks to the sink and fills a glass with ice-cold water.

„What did Blaise mean when he said if it weren't for him, you'd still be with Derek?“

Draco considers to lie. It might be smarter in the end. And yet... Draco doesn't want to lie to Harry. Derek has always lied to Draco. He doesn't want to be like that.

„After Derek beat me up that one time, I flooed to Blaise's. He threatened to tell you what Derek did to me if I didn't break up with him,“ Draco says, still not looking at Harry.

„He threatened to tell me? Why?“ Harry sounds incredulous and a little angry.

„Because Blaise knew that you wouldn't have accepted it. He also knew that, back then, I'd rather have died than for you to know what Derek did to me.“

There is a short silence and Draco feels Harry coming up next to him, but he keeps his gaze on the glass of water.

„And now? Would you still rather die?“

Draco swallows against his tight throat and finally looks up. „You already know way more than I want you to. But there's nothing I can do about it.“

Harry frowns, his striking eyes serious. „If this is going to work, I have to know about your past, Draco.“

Draco knows he's right, but he doesn't want to see it. „It's easier if you don't. Would have been, I mean.“

„No, it wouldn't have. It isn't. The worst thing is when I don't understand why you're upset.“

„Don't you get that I'd rather not have you see my ugliest parts?“ Draco forces himself to hold eyecontact. Something inside him rises in defiance.

Harry's gaze goes tender and he reaches up, cradling Draco's face in his hands. „Draco, that is what love is about. Wanting to see all of someone. Good and bad.“

„But why would you want that?“

„Because I want to know you. I want to understand you.“

The Gryffindor pauses and this time, it's him who can't hold the other's gaze.

„Don't you feel that way about me?“

It's a turning point. If Draco says no, Harry will leave. Draco knows that with a certainty that should surprise him. But if he says yes...

„I do,“ he says, quietly and the palpable relief coming off Harry makes Draco heady. „But I'm not sure it's the same. You're a good person, Harry. Your ugly isn't the same as mine.“

Harry frowns, pulling Draco closer. „It's not the same, but it's just as bad.“

Draco shakes his head. „No. It's not.“ How can Harry say such a thing? „I've made bad mistakes. Mistakes because of which people died. I've been a bully and a Death Eater. I've let down everyone in my life so far. I always do.“

Draco's voice is shaking now.

„Draco...“

„No, I'm not done,“ Draco says, cutting Harry off brusquely. „On top of that, I've also been used in ways you never have been. Ways you don't understand, Harry. You can't. It makes me feel... defiled. And knowing that lots of it has been my fault makes it only worse.“ He looks up again, into Harry's eyes, his voice steady now. „So don't tell me your ugly is the same as mine.“

Harry is quiet for a moment.

„I haven't been hugged until I was eleven years old. I slept in a cupboard for most part of my childhood. I've been starved and belittled and sometimes beaten. I've been told I'm worthless and unlovable and wrong in so many ways.“

Draco can't breathe. He can only look at Harry, the hard lines around his mouth as he talks.

„Because of my temper and my inability to hear reason, my godfather died. My best friends suffered for months, chased by Death Eaters because they decided to stay with me.“ Harry looks into Draco's eyes and Draco can feel their souls brush. „You're right, my ugly isn't the same as yours. And I don't know what it's like to be hurt in the way you've been hurt. But I do know what it's like to feel guilty. To feel worthless and not capable of love. I'm not perfect in any way, Draco. And I know you aren't either. But I'm not afraid of the darkness inside you. I want all of you. Always.“

Draco kisses him and there aren't really any words needed.

Or maybe there are.

Draco draws back just enough to be able to look at Harry.

„I love you,“ he says, his fingers tracing the contours of Harry's face. He can feel Harry's heart beating next to his as the Gryffindor smiles against his lips, his cheeks wet.

Pansy is hurting.

She's hurting when she's writing reports at her desk or examining evidence. She's hurting when she's at home, sipping red wine and allowing the white noise of the telly to keep her loneliness at bay.

She's hurting the most when she sees Sam and Blaise together. That's why she's stopped coming to their Felix's Fridays, even though she knows it makes Draco sad. But he understands.

Unlike Sam, apparently – otherwise she wouldn't show up in Pansy's fireplace.

After the last night Sam spent at Pansy's place, Pansy had been hopeful. She'd grinned at Sam when she saw her at work the next day and Sam had grinned back. It had felt secret, like the grin had only been for Pansy. Her heart had been pounding in her chest and she'd tried to reign in the butterflies in her stomach.

Then, Baise had come up behind Sam. Had snaked an arm around her waist. Had kissed her on the mouth and Sam had forgotten all about Pansy standing there. Pansy had watched the two of them kiss and had felt her heart slowly shattering, the pieces falling to her feet, sharp and fragile.

It was the moment Pansy realized Draco was right.

She can't be close to Sam. It's too painful. So Pansy avoids her whenever she can – which comes down to her seeing Sam not more than once or twice a week at the Ministry when Pansy has to drop something off at the Auror Headquarters.

And now, Samantha Parker is standing in Pansy's living room again, clearly angry with her.

„Why are you avoiding me?“ she asks, not bothering to clean up the ash sticking to her dark jeans.

Pansy closes her eyes. „I'm sorry.“

„That's not a fucking answer, Pansy. Why?“

Sam is staring at her, gaze intense. Pansy meets it, suddenly fearless. „You know why.“

Sam swallows. Her face doesn't give anything away. „I thought we're friends,“ Sam says quietly and Pansy knows she can't break down now.

„We were.“

„And now you don't want to be anymore?“

Pansy bites her lip hard, then says: „No. I'm sorry, but I can't.“

Sam takes a tiny step back.

„Fuck you, Parkinson,“ she says and leaves as suddenly as she came.

Pansy stands there for a little longer, staring at the flames in which Sam has disappeard.

The first tear is silent. Then there are too many tears to count, rolling down her cheeks, tasting of salt. Her nose is running and Pansy doesn't even bother to wipe the snot away.

A sob racks her body so hard that she doubles over, falling to her knees, clutching her stomach. She didn't know something could hurt like this. There is no history between Sam and her, not really. And Pansy thought she'd learned heartbreak when things ended with Blaise. But this is so much worse. Pansy can't control it, can only sit and cry and let the pain wash over her. When there are no tears left in her anymore, she crawls to the couch and falls asleep instantly.

„Shoot your shot already!“ Draco almost shouts as the musical poster he was looking at changes letters.

 _Still locking the bathroom door, Drake?_ It reads now and Draco wants to rip it to pieces.

„I'm tired of this game,“ he tells it, earning him some irritated glances from passing muggles.

Draco is tired of the pang of fear those messages ignite in his body. He is so fucking tired of being scared. „If you want to come for me, do it already,“ Draco says.

_Patience, babe._

Draco bites his lip hard. Breathe in, breathe out. Everything will be fine.

Part of Draco wants to run to Harry and hide in his arms.

But Draco is not a child and he's not weak. If Derek really wants to come for him, Draco will be ready. He and all the Aurors at the ready to come to his aid will hex Derek until he doesn't even know his own name anymore. And this will finally be over.

„Fuck,“ Harry moans as Draco slides to his knees in front of the Gryffindor, just like he did the first time they did this – just that Harry's sitting on a kitchen chair now and there is no carpet, but cold tiles under Draco's knees. He doesn't care.

Harry is petting his hair, brushing it back so he can see Draco's face as the blond's nimble fingers make quick work of his fly. Draco shifts his weight a little, makes sure he's steady enough, then lowers his head. Slowly. Harry likes to be teased sometimes, Draco knows now.

He looks up at Harry, batting his lashes innocently and then can't stifle a smug grin as Harry is instantly rock hard.

Draco can feel how Harry is fighting the urge to buck his hips, push Draco's head down. Looking down, Draco runs his fingers over Harry's thighs, making the brunet shiver.

„Jesus, you're killing me.“

Draco hides his smile.

„I need -“

Draco knows what Harry needs. But he isn't quite ready to give it to him yet. „What do you need, Potter?“

Harry bites his lip, his green eyes clouded. „Please, Draco.“

It makes Draco shiver and he feels his own trousers grow painfully tight.

„Tell me,“ he says, his voice a little hoarse.

Harry looks down at him. He moves his hand from Draco's hair to his chin. „Suck me, Malfoy.“

Draco does.

Harry moans and Draco doubles his effort, Harry's hand tangling in his hair again, pulling lightly.

„Fuck, you're so good.“

Draco's moan is caught in his throat.

„So good for me, baby.“

Harry is close now, Draco can tell. He starts breathing through his nose deliberately, determined to swallow everything and not make a mess. Harry tilts his head back, mouth open, brows drawn.

Draco's phone rings.

Harry groans as Draco draws back, wiping his mouth.

„Sorry, I need to get that. It's work“, he says, looking at the brunet apologetically.

Harry looks more than displeased and Draco bites his lip.

„I'll make it up to you later, I promise.“

With a shake of his head, Harry nudges Draco's shoulder. „Answer your phone, stupid.“

Draco does, praying his voice isn't actually as hoarse as he thinks it is. „Hello?“

„Draco?“

It's Hermoine.

„What is it?“

„I think you should better come. Flint is in the area.“

It takes Harry some minutes to convince Draco that Hermoine is right, he has to go to the Ministry, where no one can harm him.

„The Aurors will pop up if it'll be necessary,“ Draco argues, but Harry keeps insisting, pleading even, until Draco relents.

When his boyfriend has safely arrived in the Department of Mysteries, Harry calls Sam, making his way to the next apparition point. „I want to go after Flint,“ he tells her, his wand at the ready.

„Wait for me and Blaise.“

Harry sighs and slips into a sidestreet, phone pressed to his ear. „Hurry, okay? Where has Flint last been seen?“

„Dangerously close to Draco's flat. He's safe, right?“

„Yeah, Draco's at the -“

Harry can't finish his sentence because of the curse that hits him out of nowhere, the curse he hasn't seen coming at all.

The phone hits the ground and shatters, but Harry isn't aware of that. He's already unconcious.

„What the fuck was that?“ Sam asks, staring at her phone.

Pansy is watching her. And for once, it's not because Sam is so pretty.

„What happened?“ Blaise is standing next to Pansy and they're both looking at the Slytherin, who had just talked to Potter.

„Is something with Draco?“ Pansy asks, having to fight the urge to shake Sam.

„No, Harry said he's safe. But he just ended the call. Mid-sentence.“

Sam and Pansy lock eyes. Unease is rapidly building in Pansy's chest, hovering closely on the verge of panic.

„Do you think the connection broke?“ Blaise says calmly.

„I mean... no. It sounded like he dropped his phone.“

„Maybe something happened,“ Pansy says, quietly.

„Let's send a Patronus.“

Pansy wishes Sam wouldn't sound so worried.

When Harry wakes up, his chest is hurting. He recognizes the feeling as the aftermath of being hit by a stunner.

He tries to move, but finds that he can't. Fear is welling up in him, but he quickly shuts it down, going into Auror mode. He can't move because he's tied to a chair – with magical ropes. No chance of escaping those without a wand. He also can't see. That's probably because he is blindfolded.

Despite knowing it won't get him anywhere, Harry starts straining against the ropes.

„Hello?“

The absolute darkness is oppressive and it takes Harry a lot of willpower to remain calm and not start stupidly thrashing about.

„Hello?“ he shouts this time, hearing his own voice skidding. His heart is jolting in his chest and cold sweat leaves a wet patch on the small of his back, in his armpits. The ropes seem to grow tighter by the second until Harry can't breathe.

 _It's just in your head_ , he tries to calm himself.

He inhales deeply, but there is still no oxygen in his lungs, his blood thrumming in his ears.

„The mighty Harry Potter. Are you that much into bondage?“

Harry knows this voice. Knows and hates it.

„No, he's scared. I've seen it before. Remember, Potter, when you were tied to a grave? When Wormtail cut your arm open so your blood would revive the Dark Lord?“

This voice, Harry does not know, but the words send sparks of icy panic through him. The graveyard. Cedric's dead face, features frozen in the faintest look of surprise.

 _You're a fucking Auror, Harry Potter_ , he tells himself. There is just no way he's going to break down completely before his jailers have even done anything.

„You're Flint,“ Harry says. Who else could it be?

„Correct.“

Harry hears someone approach and tenses in anticipation of pain, but nothing comes. Rough hands pull the blindfold away and Harry blinks, looking around.  
It doesn't take him long to recognize the medieval seeming dungeon.

They're at Malfoy Manor.

As Harry had already suspected, one of the two men pointing their wands at him is Derek Connor. He seems a little paler than the last time their paths had crossed, but otherwise, it's the same man.

Flint is tall and blond. He almost looks like a rougher version of a Malfoy – less refined, taller, more buff and lacking the typical Malfoy-grace. His eyes are gleaming as he's watching Harry. „That won't work, kid.“

Harry glares at him. „What are you talking about?“

„I know your wandless magic isn't bad. My ropes prevent you from using it, so you can save your energy. Or don't, I don't care.“

There is one question burning on Harry's tongue above anything else and he stares at Derek, trying to find answers in his face.

„What do you want?“ Harry asks, looking back at Flint,

The man smiles. It's cool and predatory and somehow, it reminds Harry of Greyback. „To kill you.“

„No, Draco. You can't go!“

Pansy's voice is almost hysterical, which it does not become easily. Draco yanks his arm away, the cursed cup of coffee still in hand. The same cup that still reads: _Malfoy Manor_. Under that, there is a countdown in red letters. At the moment, there are 25 minutes left.  
„Don't you get it, Pansy? The whole time, everyone was so worried about me. But we were wrong. They're not after me. They're after _Harry_.“ Draco's voice is shaking just a little.

The whole team plus Pansy and Hermoine is looking at him with pale faces.

„No, they're just using Potter to get to you,“ Blaise says, eyebrows drawn.

But Hermoine shakes her head, her nails digging into her palms. „Derek is after Draco. Flint wants Harry. Of course he does.“ Her face is dangerously white. „I mean, in their game, Harry is the jackpot, isn't he?“ she says, saying out loud what Draco has understood the moment those words appeared on his cup.

Sam's eyes widen. „We've been so stupid. How could we not see that?“

Understanding is dawning on Pansy's face and she looks like she's going to be sick. „You can't top killing the Boy Who Lived Twice.“

„Then why don't you go ahead?“ Harry snarls, his knuckles white as he is pushing against the ropes confining him.

„We're waiting for Draco,“ Derek says.

„He won't run into your trap.“ Harry tries to sound confident. But Flint just smiles.

„Oh, I'm positive he will. He's never been the smartest one. And he's easy to scare.“

Liquid fear is running through Harry's veins. He knows that Draco will come. „And what then? Will you kill him, too?“

Flint's eyes flicker to Derek.

„Connor wants him back,“ he says and Derek is glaring at Harry.

„He's mine, Potter. He always has been.“

Harry wants to smash Derek's face. „You touch him again and I'll kill you.“

Derek laughs. „You're not in the position to kill anyone right now.“

Harry takes deep breaths. He can't lose it. He needs to think. „So isn't Draco part of your funny little game, Flint? I thought he'd be first prize.“

Flint flicks his wand, apparently just to scare Harry, because nothing happens. „He's a little cunt and a traitor, but first prize... that's you, kid. Who else would it be?“

„You can't have him.“

Harry sees him first, of course he does, and he shakes his head, pleading, begging for Draco to run. But the Slytherin doesn't. He seems small at the foot of the stairs, his blond hair shimmering in the dim light, wand raised.

„Look who's finally here,“ Flint says, attention on Draco now. Harry wants to use his distraction, do something. But he doesn't know what.

Draco's eyes dart between the two men, his wand raised high.

„Drop that, or I'll kill Potter right now.“

„Don't!“ Harry says loudly and with one swift motion, Derek slaps him so hard his ears are ringing. Blood tastes metallic in his mouth.

Draco's curse hits Derek square in the chest and makes him yelp and fall to his knees.

„Stop that, Kitty,“ Flint says, sounding bored. „This is your last warning now. Drop your wand or I'll slice this one open. Let's see whether he bleeds like the rest of us do.“

Draco hesitates for a brief moment, locking eyes with Harry.

He drops his wand. Harry closes his eyes, then opens them again.

„Good job,“ Flint says as if speaking to a child and summons Draco's wand. „Did you know that Draco here is actually pretty good at desillusions charms?“ Flint says conversationally.

Harry grits his teeth.

„We're done here,“ Derek says, making a step toward Draco who in turn takes a step back.

„Not quite yet.“ Flint's voice makes Derek stop. „Tell me, Kitty. How's life been, working for the Ministry? Chasing down your oldest friends?“

Draco's eyes are steel and if the situation wasn't so precarious, Harry would be proud of him. „You're not my friend.“

„Oh, but I could have been.“ Flint steps close to Draco, lifting his arm. His fingertips brush Draco's jaw. „You've always been such a pretty one.“

There is a sharp sound ringing in the air, like glass on glass, and Flint flinches back. Blood is covering his hand.

„So you do wandless now too. I'm impressed, Kitty. Someone's grown some claws.“

Too fast for anyone to react, Flint has pointed his wand at Draco. „Crucio.“

Harry will never forget Draco's screams. They pierce through his brain, engraved in his soul. Harry is shouting and straining against the ropes holding him as Draco is squirming on the floor.

„Don't try me, Kitty,“ Flint says as he breaks the curse.

Draco is panting and throws Flint a look of utter hatred. Slowly, he gets up.

„You told me you wouldn't touch him,“ Derek growls, staring at Flint.

That makes Draco snort. „Did he? You're even dumber than I thought you were if you really believed that.“ Draco is looking straight at Derek now.

„Shut your mouth,“ Derek says, his dark glare burning into Draco.

„He's right,“ Harry says, looking at Derek. „Flint doesn't plan on letting Draco go. He wants to kill him.“

Derek's eyes flicker between the three men.

„We'll leave now,“ he says to Flint and grabs Draco's wrist. The blond goes rigid and the urge to smash Derek's face is surging up in Harry again.

„Not yet,“ Flint says, wand pointing at Derek.

„You've got Potter, I got Draco. That was the deal.“

Something in Flint's gaze shifts and Harry gets a glimpse at the underlying crazy. „Well, the deal is over now. Draco needs to pay for what he's done.“ He stares at the blond. „You're just like Lucius. Weak and impressionable.“

Derek draws his wand and points it at Flint. „Get out of the way.“

Flint's eyes narrow.

Something is brushing over Harry's skin, like a tingle.

Magic.

The ropes whisper quietly as they're shifting, loosening around his wrists, his ankles. Harry doesn't dare look at Draco, in case the others notice.

„Seems like I'll have to kill both of you then,“ Flint snarls. „Or maybe I'll take Kitty with me for a while first.“

The moment the ropes fall from Harry's wrists, Flint notices. His eyes widen, his mouth twisting. Harry lifts his hand, jumps forward. Flint is thrown back, hitting the wall across them with a yelp.

Draco charges at Derek and Harry jumps to help him. A curse shoots out of Derek's wand, but Draco bends his hand away from them. Harry gives into the urge and lands one right in Derek's face, sending the man to the ground.

Draco plugs the wand from his hand and stands, spinning around. „Protego!“

His shield is coming up just in time to protect them from the green light that bursts out of Flint's wand. Draco grabs Harry's hand and the last thing Harry sees is Flint's face, contorted with fury as he charges at them, knowing full well he won't reach them in time.

They're landing in front of the door to the basement – in the midst of their whole team and Hermoine.

„Draco!“ Pansy shrieks.

„You can't apparate on the Manor's grounds!“ Hermoine says and Harry almost has to laugh that this is the first thing she thinks to say.

„Draco can,“ Blaise says.

„Focus!“

Everyone stills and Harry focuses on the door they're all staring at.

„Where's your wand, Harry?“ Sam asks.

„Flint has it.“

„Stay back then,“ Blaise says, sliding in front of Harry, shielding him.

„We've been trying to blast this bloody door open for ten minutes now,“ Pansy says, not looking away from the door.

„Who says they're even still in there?“ Sam whispers.

„They can't apparate in here either,“ Draco says.

„Why did they come here of all places?“ Terry asks.

„To mock me,“ Draco says.

Harry glances at him before focusing his attention back to the door.

„Flint knows how much I hate these dungeons.“

In the end, Flint and Derek don't stand a chance against all of them. When they break through the door, Hermoine and Sam hit Flint with two very well-placed stunners, while Blaise almost rips Derek in two with his curse.

„That felt good,“ he says, watching Derek squirming on the ground.

He looks at Draco then. „Do you want to land one to?“

Draco just shakes his head, watching Derek.

„Draco, please,“ the man mumbles through a mouth of shattered teeth.

„Accio wand,“ Draco says, pointing at Derek. The wand from his hand flies into Draco's.

„I hate Derek's wand,“ Draco says, turning away and handing the wand he's been using to Pansy. „It doesn't work for me at all.“

Blaise snorts, then laughs. „I've told you that right from the start.“

For a moment, Harry thinks Draco will hex him. Sam has already lifted her wand to intervene, when Draco's face twists and he shakes his head, grinning.

„You're the worst, Blaise Zabini.“

„I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty great to be back at boring for a while,“ Sam says, leaning against Harry's shoulder for a moment. Harry smiles.

„In two days, you'll be complaining again.“

Sam grins. „Probably. But that means two days of peace and quiet for us.“

Harry silently agrees. It feels good to be back at the office without receiving news of horror on the daily. Blaise and Terry come in, carrying cups of coffee. Terry's wearing a hint of eyeliner and a smile on his face and Harry knows that things are finally going back to normal.

„Good work, everyone,“ Archer says, the last one to arrive.

„I've just said that I almost missed boring throughout the last weeks,“ Sam says, pushing her hair back and smiling.

„You'll keep missing it then.“

Harry perks up, looking at his boss. There is almost something like a smile on Archer's face.

„I think you've all proved that you're ready for the real deal. Your training is completed. No more practice cases from now on – ever. Not only when we're in desperate need for backup,“ he says and now he really is smiling.

Draco smiles as he sees Harry waiting for him in front of the Ministry. People are passing him, some saying hello or patting him on the shoulder. The Gryffindor only looks at Draco though.

„Your hair looks even worse than usually,“ Draco greets him, smiling.

It's hard for him, not seeing Harry at work all day. Since Flint locked him in the dungeons, Draco'd like to keep Harry in sight at all times.

„You look pretty, too,“ the brunet responds and the warmth with which he's looking at Draco makes him tingly and soft.

He really wants to kiss Harry.

„Are you ready to go?“

Draco hesitates. There are so many people around. „Not quite.“

He steps closer and grabs Harry's collar, pulling his head down into a searing kiss. Harry is so surprised that it takes him a moment to recover, but then he kisses Draco back and pulls him close and Draco can feel his happiness as if it would be his own.

„Wow. That was unexpected.“ Harry smiles at him, practically glowing.

„Are you saying I'm usually predictable and boring?“

The Gryffindor rolls his eyes, then tucks Draco under his arm. „You're such a bloody prick. I love you stupid.“

It's the first time in forever they're all at Felix's – even Pansy. She's wearing a short skirt and thigh-high tights and heels, looking eatable, even to Draco, who'd never think about her that way.

„Hello, love,“ she greets him, kissing both his cheeks.

„You look good,“ he tells her before taking a seat next to Harry. The Gryffindor reaches for his hand and Draco takes it. Holds on.

The other three arrive and Harry insists on buying the first round. „I owe you all one, don't I?“

„Don't be ridiculous,“ Terry says.

„Oh, by all means, you can pay for my drink, Potter,“ Pansy says and Sam laughs. Pansy doesn't look at her, but smiles at Draco. „You've spotted this one well, Drake. I'm proud of you.“

Draco smiles at her, throat tight. He's pretty sure the use of his old nickname is intentional. Before Derek claimed it as his name for Draco, it had been Blaise's and Pansy's. He's sure his friend recognizes the significance of the moment.

„He's learning,“ he says after a moment of recovery.

Harry squeezes his hand. Sometimes, the Gryffindor isn't as oblivious as he seems.

„To us,“ Blaise says as they all raise their drinks for a toast.

Pansy never thought of herself as a very good person. She knows that she's selfish, there are enough examples to prove that. The best one, of course, is when she stood up, pointing at Potter through the Great Hall and suggestes to hand him over.

Another one would be Rose. Pansy'd known from the start that the sweet Australian liked her more than Pansy liked her, but she didn't care. And broke Rose's heart in the end.

So, Pansy Parkinson is selfish. And a bitch, for the most part.

That's why it takes Pansy a while to grasp why she's so happy, looking at Draco smiling, holding Potter's hand and winking at Pansy, sharing secret looks with her like they have been doing since first year at Hogwarts, when Pansy was instantly smitten with the small blond git.

At first, she thinks it's because she's got Draco back now – Derek is gone and so is a huge part of Draco's fear, the fear that separated him from his friends, made him isolate himself.

But that's not quite it.

She's watching Draco laugh at one of Terry's bad jokes, pushing his shiny hair back, then taking a sip from his drink, eyes light as he watches the Ravenclaw gesticulate, talking animatedly. It's then she understands.

Pansy is happy because Draco is.

It's as simple as that and yet it makes Pansy uneasy. She's not someone like that, not usually. But here she is, broken-hearted, mad at one of her oldest friends and jealous of the other (jealous of both of them, really) and still, she looks at Draco and feels so soft all over.

Merlin, Pansy's gone nuts.

 _Whatever_ , she thinks, taking a sip from her Firewhiskey.

„He seems happier,“ Sam says. She's leaning forward, turning her head. Only Pansy can hear her.

Pansy keeps her gaze on Draco and lifts the glass to her lips again. „He does. Potter is good for him. Even though I won't ever tell him that. It might inflate his huge Gryffindor ego even further.“

„Harry actually doesn't have that big of an ego,“ Sam says. „Pansy?“ Her voice is small, yet urgent.

„Hm.“ Pansy is still not looking at her, but rather inspecting her nails. She's painted them in a dark, bloody red. They're perfect.

„Can we talk? I really miss you.“ Sam reaches out, taking Pansy's hand. Pansy pulls it away, gently.

Now she looks at Sam. „I'm not mad at you. But I don't want to talk.“

 _Don't tell me you miss me_ , Pansy wants to add as well, but it seems too cruel.

Sam's face falls. „Pansy, I really -“

„Stop, please. I just need a little space.“ Pansy smiles at her now.

Sam's eyes are sad, even more – desperate. It tugs at the strings of Pansy's heart, but she's sworn herself to be better. Afterall, she's spent years telling Draco over and over again how Derek wasn't good for him, how he only hurt him. And even though this is of course different, she's not going to make the same mistake as her friend.

Pansy knows this is bad for her. She knows she has to let it go. „I'm sorry, Sam.“

„I'll blame you if I'm late tomorrow because I have to glamour all those bruises,“ Draco says, even though it's not that easy to form words as Harry sucks love bites into the tender skin of his throat.

„Then don't. Everyone knows we're together now,“ Harry says, before going back to marking Draco's skin.

The Gryffindor's happiness is intoxicating and Draco smiles, holding on a little tighter to his lover. Harry has his arms around his waist, strong and steady and Draco leans back, allows him to support his weight, as Harry drops open-mouthed kisses down Draco's naked torso.

This couch might just become Draco's favorite place in the world. At least if Harry's there, pulling Draco into his lap and kissing him senseless, that is. Heat is pooling in Draco's belly and he's moving his hips a little, encouraging Harry to pick up the pace. He doesn't even care what they do, as long as Harry doesn't stop touching him.

To Draco's great chagrin, the Gryffindor stops and lifts his head.

„What?“ Draco asks, trying not to sound too pissed.

„I've got a question first.“

„Can't that wait?“ Draco almost whines. Then he feels a little bad. If it was the other way around, Harry wouldn't have complained.

The brunet seems to read his thoughts, because he laughs. „Don't worry, I'll be back at it in a moment. But first...“ He bites his lip and Draco can tell he's nervous.

„Yes?“

Harry looks him in the eyes, the intensity of his green gaze mesmerizing. „Move in with me.“

Draco blinks, stares at Harry. Harry's arms around him tighten and he looks at him, lips slightly parted. Anxious for his reply.

„Are you serious?“

„Yeah.“

Draco looks at Harry, the openness in his eyes.

„I think you're crazy,“ he tells him, then leans down a little to capture his mouth in a kiss.

„But, yes. I'll move in with you.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! I hope you liked the second part just as much (or maybe even more) as the first one!  
> There will be a third part coming soon, so stay tuned.  
> A million thanks to everyone who has read this far and a very special thank you to all that commented. You guys are the best.

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit: This time, I really wasn't sure about the rating. To me, it doesn't feel like this story deserves to be rated Explicit, but maybe I'm just too dirty-minded? And it's also better to be safe than sorry?  
> I decided to go with Mature, but if you think I should change the rating, please let me know!  
> Please forgive me for any errors you'll certainly stumble over - I'm hopeless at editing my own works.  
> Comments and Kudos give me life and I'm endlessly thankful to anyone who shares their thoughts with me.


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